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To my first love,
We never got that happy ever after did we? Life with you was filled with warmth and love. I still mourn our relationship, 2 years since our breakup. It’s raw and painful thinking of our times together knowing I’ll never have that with you.
I wish things could’ve been different and we would still be together.
Lies and cheating broke us in the end.
26/05/2019 Guilt has filled me to my core every single day since. I will never be able to express how sorry I was and still am. For hurting you, betraying you, losing you, everything. That night changed the course of our relationship based off my careless actions. I had a choice, and I made a poor decision. And my decision costed me you.
Moving on has been truly difficult. In the beginning, I couldn’t do anything except cry. It felt worse as the days turned into weeks, I surrounded myself in our memories to try and feel close to you. I was a wreck. Life fell into a spiralling mess shortly after. Resorting to drink and overdoses, I ended up in a psych hospital.
It’s been 2 years and I still don’t feel like the same person. Life feels numb and the guilt of hurting you still drives me to tears. I have not shared the true extent of my pain to anyone.
Overcoming heartbreak is not easy and I never knew it could feel like this. Everyday, in the most unexpected ways, I’ll remember you and our time together.
The break up left a lasting hole in my heart and bouts of guilt ridicule my headspace often. Falling in love again didn’t seem possible but I am happy - I hope I can grow and learn from my bad decisions
I’m hoping in time, I’ll learn to live with what I did and and wish you the very best in life and happiness
To my first love,
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