Iʟʟ Fᴀᴛᴇᴅ

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘, 𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙... 𝐼𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤. 𝐼𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑧𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑎 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑜 𝑡𝑜—

"Shut UP!" the pale and petite brunette screams abruptly. Her hoarse voice echoes against the pale pink walls that mock her. The mirror that she stands in front of shows a reflection of a sorrowful and broken girl. Her perfect lips dried to a crack as she tries to hydrate them with her tongue, quickly licking them. Her big, hazel eyes are hugged by luscious dark circles. She hasn't slept in days. She doesn't know what time it is, as every day and night tend to blend together.

𝐼𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒, and for once, this thought was her own. Her nimble and nervous fingers pull a strand of her disheveled hair with a slight, unintentional vibration. Her lungs follow suit and release a shuddering breath that feels like she's been holding it in forever. Her throat burns from severe wailing and sobbing, her chest rising and falling heavily as she gathers her bearings for the thousandth time.

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑, 𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑖.

"Please... just leave me alone..." she whimpers to her reflection. Her hands caress the corners of the bathroom quarts tiling, The cold material causing goosebumps to freckle up her underweight arms. They trace above her shoulders and then make the hair on the back of her neck stand on end before racing down her spine which protrudes significantly from her back, her ribs following suit.

She had stopped eating as much, in hopes that it would make her fatigued. The only time she isn't bombarded constantly by the voice is when she is asleep. When she is dreaming of brilliant and vibrant colors. When she is dreaming of her father.

Her father. Lorelei lets out a pained moan at the thought of him. Her thin fingers claw the cloth that covers her torso in the chest area, as if she was attempting to keep her broken heart in one. Her head falls forward and she slumps against the counter-top, her knees buckling and giving out beneath her, as if her guilt and melancholy moods are getting to be too heavy to carry upon her shoulders.

As she falls to her knees, her right palm knocks the new box cutter blade that had been resting on the edge of the sink to the floor next to her right thigh. As it clinks against the tile, she whines to herself.

𝐷𝑜 𝑖𝑡... 𝐷𝑜 𝑖𝑡... 𝐷𝑜 𝑖𝑡...

Lorelei begins smacking half closed fists against her temples as if that would help silence the voice that torments her daily. "Shutupshutupshutupshutupsh-shutup..." she mutters without breathing. Over and over whilst beating herself up, quite literally. Her eyes glance past her deeply scarred thigh, which indicates she is left handed, as her left thigh isn't marked with permanent reminders of her sorrow. Her tired eyes stare at the box cutter blade that leers to her right. She reaches out, her fingers having a violent shake to them as her anxiety takes over her movements. After Lorelei struggles for what seems like an eternity, she finally snatches up the metal.

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ, 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑎𝑦.

Lorelei growls in frustration, the sound coming deep from her diaphragm. She slowly places the sharp edge of the blade against her soft and supple skin at the base of her wrist. The small girl leans back and releases an exhale that calms her nerves. "I do..." she hisses with uncertainty.

𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡, 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟? 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑎𝑤 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑎. 𝐼'𝑚 ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑙𝑦 𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑘𝑒𝑒𝑝 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑. 𝐻𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑙𝑎𝑟𝑔𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑔, 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑒? 𝐻𝑒 𝑖𝑠—𝑜ℎ 𝑚𝑦, 𝑚𝑦 𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑖— 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑡𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑝𝑠. 𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔—

She allows a blood-curdling scream escape from her once again chapped lips, digging the blade into her skin and pulling it towards her elbow. The blade struggles to keep going as she shoves it deeper, her scream of anger now a scream of pain. The crimson blood begins turning black as the amount floods over the edges of the wound and on the white bath-mat, painting it a beautiful rose red. Finally, Lorelei could sleep. It's like her veins were yearning to be split open. They were begging for the blade as if they were dehydrated and it was a nice, tall glass of water from a natural spring.

Lorelei slumps to her side, the pain of her forearm throbbing. Her left hand drops the blade, allowing it to clink to the floor one last time. Her breath begins moving faster and shallower as she watches her life slip through her fingers and into the darkness below. The small girl pulls her knobby knees to her small chest weakly, the movement causing the growing puddle of blood on the floor to rush towards her face. It stains her pale face, and floods into her left eye. Her dark hair begins to stick together as it soaks up the thick liquid. "It stopped..." she whispers quietly.

𝑁𝑜, 𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑖, 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡. 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ. 𝑈𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑡. 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑐𝑘 𝑜𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐴 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑢𝑠𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛. 𝑆ℎ𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙. 𝑆ℎ𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙, 𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑑.

The voice is calm now, as it has finally achieved it's goal. Lorelei's breathing slows into short and shallow breaths. Her vision blurs and the tears slide down her face, disappearing in the sea of blood. She did all of this for no reason. There was no good way out, and now it was too late. What has she done? The dying girl's vision begins darkening and with one more deep and sorrowful gasp, her soul is set free from the mortal prison it resided in.

(((Thank you for getting to the end. If you ever feel the need to end your beautiful and supple life, please contact a suicide hotline, or talk to a counselor. I love you, and please don't keep things like this a secret. You're a beautiful being. Stay safe. <3 Nixie)))