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"Maybe you weren't the one for me, but deep down I wanted you to be."
3 years ago · 1 · Stress, +1
518
It's like wanting to be the reason that someone is happy. It's been 3 years since I've wanted to be with him. I've been in two relationships through this and sometimes I just want to be alone with him. I was single when we met but things got complicated and I went for someone else because I thought it could take my mind off of him. He was out of the picture because we didn't really know each other. Through the years we have become sort of friends. But as soon as I got out of my last relationship I was put into another one. And I love my boyfriend now, but sometimes I think about him still. The night we talked all night, until he was too tried to stay awake and we hung up the phone. I knew I wanted to make him happy. But for some reason I want him to be happy because of me. Like wanting something that will never happen. And on the 2 year anniversary of my relationship, I'm thinking of what could have happened with a boy I've wanted for 3 years. But it never works out. He's too scared to get close to anyone, and I have someone I care about. Yet, every so often I am reminded of how I want to make him happy. I want to be with him. And I know how absolutely selfish that is. Bringing someone who doesn't need my problems brought into my life. Yet I know that he wouldn't mind a second of it. Maybe it didn't work out, and it might never work out and I know that. So why do I still want to be the reason he's happy, and smiling, and mine.
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