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My mom has been dating this guy for about three years. She seems really happy with him, but I can’t say the same. There has been some problems with him. He tried exposer therapy to get rid of my anxiety (I’ve had it for 7 years), he took me with him to a restaurant to grab some food and I was struggling ordering, he then got upset at me and ordered for me, but then when we were in the car he yelled at me and said that I shouldn’t be afraid of ordering food. He drove me around yelling at me for about 2 hours? He said things like, “I’m going to take you to see some of my friends and make you talk to them.” He frightens me. Recently, I came out as trans to my mom and she accepts me, but her boyfriend is homophobic and transphobic, I feel unsafe around him. I’m Afraid that when they get married he’s going to dictate my life, I don’t want to be in the closet, and I don’t want my mom to marry someone that doesn’t understand my problems and why I have them. Can someone give me some advice? (Sorry about spelling, it’s late and I’m tired.)
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The best thing you can do is talk to your mom about your issues privately. Tell her you don't feel comfortable around him at all make that very clear. Ask her if you can have a relationship where you respect him but only want to listen to her as your parent. Tell her that you're happy for her but just because they're getting married doesn't mean he's your parent/dad he's just your moms husband. I understand what it's like to be in that situation. I don't think she'd leave him over this because of 3 years of dating but just make it clear you don't like him and you won't listen to him but you'll respect him. If it gets worse the only advice I can give is to live with another family member like grandparents or aunts or uncles if you can. I don't know how old you are but hopefully you're old enough so you can move out in a few years.
ReplyI'm dealing with the same thing, I think you should talk about it w/ your mom. Or tell you moms boyfriend how you feel
ReplyI dont really like my moms bf too. he gets mad at me for no reason.
Reply