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My entire life my mom has been psychologically and mentally trying to kill my spirit. She wanted a best friend in me, like she was with her mother. Her mother hated her. She tried to suck up to her and kiss her ass. She has been trying to destroy my entire being with passive aggressive moves and other mean shit. Hypercritical, controlling, silent treatment, mean, nasty, intentionally stepping on my anxiety until I crack. Then she apologizes and "love bombs." I had been mad at my dad for abandoning me. I just discovered that she told my dad that I hated him and didn't want anything to do with him. I was devastated for all of my teen years because he never called me. If I called him, he found a reason to get off the phone. I have two half siblings whom I barely remember. I loved being a big sibling. I missed having that. They will never know my kid. She took that from me. The best part is that I married a man exactly like my mom, only more of an up front, out in the open asshole. I have a job where I have one coworker who is miserable and bullies the whole office with the same treatment I get from my mom and husband. I cant' take much more. I am ready to move to another state and start over with nobody but myself. The asshole that I am married to jumped down my throat for smoking a joint. He hasn't worked in YEARS. I am the sole breadwinner. He acts like it is his or something. When I was underemployed, he was all "I'll let you smoke, but you need to get a better job and start buying your own." I'm making ALL of the money and he's STILL bogarting it. Yes, before anyone starts the finger wagging, I live in a legal state. I'm done. I'm done with people. I'm getting pretty close to being done with life.
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