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Well.. I met this guy online.. in a game... We've been chatting for 3 months now.
And in all those 3 months, I did not have any feelings for him.
My friend found out about him when I took a screenshot in game and I shared it with her (because I thought the ss looked cute) and that's when she started asking all these things. Like when are we gonna date and such. At first I was like.. what-
Then things happened and she kept pushing and pushing me into liking this person. She pushed and pushed the idea into me. She also pushed the idea that he's into me.
And then I realized (?) That maybe I do like this guy. But there were also times when I felt nothing for this guy. It's like.. on and off...
Keep in mind, I didn't feel anything for him until my friend started pushing me into liking him.
Maybe she did influence me in some way?
Because I do notice that I've been looking forward to his messages(added each other on disc). I was a tiny bit upset when he replied late and all.. but when we chatted, I just... Don't feel any romantic feelings. No butterflies. It's just a normal friends thing...
My friend told me that I was playing with his feelings.. but.. I didn't flirt with him.. I just literally did what I normally do with my friends...
But I will admit this one thing that happened tho. He sugested a voice call(he does this with his ofher online friend too). He told me my voice was cute. AND! That was very unexpected so I was shicked and flustered. I don't normally get complimented. And well(since we both thought I liked him) I told her what happened. And she went nuts. She was so convinced that he liked me. It was this one scenario that led her to believe that I was playing with his feelings. It was because I enjoyed the compliment. Also keep in mind that this was the ONLY scenario where any butterflies happened >_>
I told her that "ok sure.. let's assume he does like me.. but do I like him?"
Because I really just don't feel anything.. there are times when I feel something.. but I feel like I only feel it because my friend told me to(if that makes sense)
Sigh.. idk where this is going..
I just need to know if:
1. I do like the guy but just don't know
2. I only like him because my friend led me to believe that I do
3. Am I playing with feelings? Because I feel bad if I am.. If I am, please tell me how to not.. and fix any misunderstandings between me and him
4. I don't really want to hurt anyone... So it's important I find out about my feelings now so no misunderstandings happen
5. This is just some additional not important context. He game is Genshin Impact. The screenshot was me(Albedo), him(Klee), my other friend(Venti). Klee and Venti was playing the lyre and Albedo was looking over Klee. I thought it was so cute 🥺 so I shared it to my friend.
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To your original question, yes. It is entirely possible that your friend is influencing you. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that is the case.
Now you were very accurate in depicting this scenario and for all intents and purposes, you could in theory, develop those feelings of waiting and looking forward to communication. That doesn't exactly scream romantic vibes to me.
As for that one case where you felt butterflies, I'm going to say that was 100% influenced because the sub conscious text behind it was excitement about sharing it with your friend. At least that's what I make of it.
Now, should you pursue this as some kind of online relationship? That's hard to say, because there's no guarantee that you won't come around to more romantic feelings down the line. However, equally the opposite can be said in which you might not ever develop those emotions for him.
Although I will add this much, the level of confusion you seem to be encountering may be indicative of underlying emotions you haven't processed. So there MAY be some hidden desire to "like like" this person. Though that is a bit of a stretch.
You seem like you've got a pretty keen awareness of your mental state, that's why the confusion strikes me as odd. I'm sure under any other circumstance, you would've likely shrugged something like this off.
Let's say you don't like a particular fruit and that same friend says that you really do. Same conundrum, but you'd be much more sure of yourself.
And as a final note, I'll say this; it's been 3 months. Stay friends. If you become certain one way or another later down the line, then you'll know.
Don't be too hasty but if you do find yourself leaning towards liking this person, then say so. Occam's razor.
Replywhat they ^^ said.
but, why is your friend so invested in your lovelife? isn't that a little odd? i would ask your friend why she is pushing this so hard. why does this matter to her?
or! i would go boy shopping with her. that sounds demeaning, but that's what you are doing basically. anyway, find her a boy to moon over. if she is busy with her own lovelife, she won't have time to be prying into yours.
ReplyAHAHAHAHA I love it! Wish I would've thought of that! Lol!
Very good perception!
ReplyBoth of you made some good points..
She does have a boyfriend. He's ignoring her. Maybe that's why.. >_>
ReplyAnd another thing to mention would be that.. I've never really dated anyone. I just didn't have any desires to do so. I guess.. I was caught on the hype train of liking someone..
So it wasn't him that I liked... But the feeling of potentially liking someone? 🤔
Liking someone has always been a mystery to me.. I've just never really felt that way(I have had crushes.. but they're just crushes...) so I guess I just wanted to know what it felt like to like someone and potentially date them :') but I'm still not feeling it
Replyif your unsure, ask your self do you like the person or do you like the idea of being with the person? its diff you feel
Reply