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I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now its a long distance relationship but yesterday is the first day I saw him being possessive...we were talking on the phone and I told him I'm going out with my friends tomorrow he got really mad and told me you're not going what if there were other guys look at you ! I was shocked he never did this to me before...he also told me that I'm his and going out often is a no for him also wearing revealing clothes cause he doesn't want other guys looking at his woman....I don't know what to do I love him so much but I also love being independent and I'm a feminist so I hate thinking like this I mean it's okay to be jealous it's something natural but not like this ! He used to be a little irritated when I tell him I'm going out with my friends but now he took it too far...I asked him do you trust me?? And he said yes but I don't want other guys to look at you you're mine...honestly I'm confused I tried talking to him he didn't listen I know these could cause problems in the long term so help me what should I do ?....
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He is trying to control you. Tell him you won't be controlled by him or anyone and he had better stop because you won't tolerate him doing that.
ReplyIKR ! I'm shocked I didn't know he thinks like this I know there are boundaries and I respect my relationship but this is just too much he wanna fully own me
ReplyHe's right not to trust you - you're playing with fire... and sooner or later you're going to get burned. The problem is - if you cheat then he'll never know unless someone sends him pictures or a video.
Maybe you should reconsider whether you really want to be in a committed relationship at this point in your life, especially a long distance one.
ReplyI think you're a male cause your comment screams that he told me he trusts it has nothing to do with the fear of me cheating on him he just doesn't want any guy besides him look at me even if it's not a LDR his behaviors wouldn't change cause he thinks like that and according to your comment he shouldn't go out too cause if he cheats I wouldn't know too where's the logic ? 😅😅
ReplyIt was a subtle attempt to say "this girl obviously doesn't want to be in a committed relationship since she enjoys wearing revealing cloths to attract the male gaze which will eventually lead to cheating". And yes - he's probably cheating too, since this has 2 layers of risk:
a. In my observation - couples between age 15 and 25 usually cheat on each other, but find out for yourself.
b. In my observation - couples in long distance relationships usually cheat on each other, but again - find out for yourself.
I hope that helps.
ReplyNot all couples in LDR cheat + I live in a muslim society sex is only allowed after marriage so it's a very low percentage of him cheating on me even emotionally we trust each other this is just something that has to do with Jealousy issues nothing more nothing less he wasn't worried that I was seeing other guys he just don't want other guys to see me and by revealing clothes I mean short dresses a little above knees and tight jeans...could you just talk instead of using statistics that are studied in the west cause here it's totally different stop fucking with my trust issues please I'm not tryna overthink something else this is enough 🥺
ReplyThere's a difference between being protective/overprotective and possessive. He's clearly being controlling and it's not healthy. You need to make it clear that going far isn't okay. If he's trying to keep you in from going out with friends then it'll only get worse unless he works on it. If he won't listen when he's like this then stay away from your phone for awhile and keep standing your ground. You're his girlfriend and he's your boyfriend but that doesn't mean he owns your or that you're his property. If your upset let him know that eventually he'll have to change his behavior and if he doesn't it clearly shows he doesn't care about you the way he should. The way he cares about you right now is unhealthy.
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