sexual fantasy

English is not my first language so I apologize for the spelling mistakes.

I have a minor problem masturbating. I can't masturbate or have any other sexual and sexual intercourse without thinking about murder or torture a random person. All I have to do is read about the murders or if someone briefly describes them to me, so the moment I get excited by the idea. I haven't had any sex yet because I'm afraid I'll have to think about something like that and it will be embarrassing. I just want to know if it's normal to get wet from thinking about murders and torture.