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The universe for a gentle sign. For guidance on what I should do about my feelings for you.
A few minutes later I saw a male and female duck flying together over my house. I feel like it was the universe trying to tell me something. Though I don't know what.
Then I heard a song I had never heard before until you told me about it. A song about love. About being ready for it. About being sure. About the pain someone can feel if you're not.
I feel like that was a sign too.
I sit here. Trying to let you go. Trying to rip my heart by its roots out of your hands. I WANT to curl into you and love on you and tell you I'm proud of you. But what is it costing me to do this right now? It hurts me and still I show my love. And you still sit there, a wounded but healing animal, from your last stint with love and it's like you just can't trust me...though I've never done a thing to hurt you. I keep waiting for something I don't think will happen. And if it does, I wonder if it will be short lived. If you'll realize it's not what you want and that the nagging feeling in the back of my mind has been right all along. And...wait...I am the wounded animal, not trusting anything anymore but so desperately wanting to.
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We must be as willing to let each other heal without our own help as we are willing to help each other. Not like a checkbook. But like a dance. How can you dance with a partner you don't trust? I need your honesty if I am going to come to you healed at all, though. So if you do keep me in the dark, that is just one of many ways that you could control the situation. Surely there are ways that would be less painful to us both?
ReplyI don't keep the person I'm talking about in the dark. I have explicitly told them the things that go through my brain...sometimes to my detriment.
ReplyAt some point, you start overthinking things. There's a lot of unknowns here and perhaps that's just something you can't accept.
The universe will give you signs, but they are often not what you think. Be careful in asking because everything you think is a sign, likely isn't. It's just your mind wanting it to be a sign, subconscious bias.
Though the universe will never tell you what to do irl what's right. It accepts everything as it is, no matter how we view it, good or evil or bad. It just is.
So the sign you'll see from the universe will be this: you are as you are and that is ok.
ReplyThat was kind of the point of what I wrote- that sometimes you get stuck looking for signs instead of just letting things be as they are. It is something I struggle with and I know that. I am the quintessential anxious overthinker. It is the exact reason I have been getting heavily into yoga and meditation in the last few months. Because I need to process and then just breathe and be.
Thank you for your thoughts. I agree wholeheartedly. Just have to get to a point where I don't question it later.
Reply"No one can see passed a choice they don't understand"
There will always be questions, and when those questions arise, remember the why behind it.
Reply