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I just started working, been doing college, looking into four year colleges to transfer to - all those busy things in life you know. Well, sometimes if I sit for a minute without the busyness blaring into my brain, I feel a mix of upsetting emotions. It's dread as if I am struggling in quick sand and may or may not escape. It's also this emptiness. Like I feel not completely empty, but like there is a tiny drop of water left in a bottle. A drop that will only tease any thirsty mouth. I also feel like I am just living, living, living- all well and happy...until I am forced to see that I am still relapsing into my eating disorder. I try and fail, try and fail. And then I also feel guilty. Just guilty that I am not better. Guilty that I have failed so many times. If people knew, they would find me pathetic, useless, spineless, and a mistake. The things people don't know about me keep me lonely. But, it's better that way. I just feel bad for existing today.
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Im proud of you for trying.❤
ReplyAlways remember that you don't have to stick to the same job forever. You can have as many different jobs as you like in your life so don't feel as though you are stuck. Life is a journey, not a destination.
Please get help for your eating disorder.
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