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i fell for a boy about 6 months after being absolutely heartbroken by another. the first boy i thought was my best friend who told me he’d never leave, but he took everything i was insecure about and everything i struggled with and tore into me about it. he told me i was nothing. he told me that i shouldn’t be sad because people had it worse than me. he told me that i needed to shut up about how my depression was taking over because since i have a house and a family i have no reason to be depressed. i had to go on meds to deal with the true pain this caused me. i finally moved away and stopped communicating with him and met a boy and fell hard. we connected on everything and i opened up to him about my struggles. he told me he would always be here for me. we did everything people in relationships do for a long time. he told me how pretty i looked, he told me he liked me over and over and over. he slept over, spent days with me, etc. but one day he told me he didn’t know if he actually liked me and that he couldn’t see us dating ever and that we were just friends. we stopped talking, but he was the person i went to when i was hurting. he’s not here anymore. i feel crazy for even believing someone could love me, but i feel crazier that i romanticized our situation. i don’t think i can feel this pain again and suffer like this. one heartbreak was so much, and this second one hurts more especially because he related to so much which made it so easy to tell him everything. i don’t think i can ever open up to someone like this again, and i’m in pain over it. i physically hurt from how much i miss him and how i don’t think i will ever have something like that again.
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