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so my cat died today. She has been there my whole life, for 18 years, she was my best friend and I seriously don't even know what to feel. I see so many people say stuff like "its just a pet" "its not that sad".... when an animal has died. pets are FAMILY. I was closer to her than half my family, I saw her every single day, she was always just there. The entire house reminds me of her, I can't go anywhere without imagining her there, curled up sleeping or meowing for food.
It hurts more than I could ever even imagined, but it also feels like nothing. I don't know how to make it make sense - I've always had an issue with emotions. I can be very closed off and I 'deal' with stuff by putting it in a box and never opening the lid. So, I don't deal with stuff basically. It hurts so much less to not think about her, not let myself get upset. But, she deserves to be remembered. I just miss her so much, I think I'm still in shock. It was so fast, I just can't believe she's gone, that she won't be next to me when I'm reading or curled up sleeping during a movie, that I won't ever hear her scratching on the door to come in or running around the house playing with her toy mouse.
I feel numb but also upset beyond belief at the exact same time. It hurts to write this and acknowledge that she's gone and she's never coming back, but I know that i need to talk, otherwise all my emotions are gonna fester and get so much worse, but i don't really want to talk to anybody around me right now. I can hardly talk to my parents, they're just so sad and gloomy and i just, i cant be around that. and My friends, i love them so much but I don't need "I'm sorry for your loss" or "she's in a better place" and i don't need pity, i don't really know what i need.
I'm just in pain and I'm supposed to be revising for huge exams i have this week and i can't focus on anything and i just don't know what to do. I just need to talk about it, so this is me talking
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This is heartbreaking. And you’re absolutely right that they are FAMILY. Certain people will never understand that, but some of us do. When my little furbaby died i fell into the darkest place I had ever been (and I’m a 27 year old male). I know nothing can make it better, but if you’re looking for some direction, the only thing that helped me was to go to the pound and rescue another life. Not a replacement. More like making something good happen from a horrible situation. Anyway, thanks for sharing this because it’s reassuring to know there are people in the world who care so deeply.
ReplyYea now it’s been a day or so, I just feel lost. Like I’m trying not too think about it too much because I just can’t, it’s too much at the moment. But I just feel aimless, I don’t even know. My family are definitely going to look into rescuing another cat, maybe 2. All of our cats have been rescues because there’s so many animals that need homes. But we will probably wait a little while. Thank you for sharing too, and replying
ReplyWhen you are ready get yourself another cat.
Replydefinitely will be, my family has been thinking about it for a while. The issue is we have another cat and we don't know he would react, so we are going to wait a bit
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