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Everything is going wrong all at once. My mental health had been so much better until this month until it just started going down hill for no reason. I think I may be suffering from psychotic depression, every time I start to feel worse I begin seeing things. I get extremely paranoid and think everyone is poisoning me or following me. Last time it got really bad I attempted suicide. Obviously that failed.
But now things are getting worse again. Then to add to it last week was my anti's birthday, she died about a year ago of cancer. Then my nan ended up in hospital because of a hip operation. Her wound got infected and she wasn't very well. Now they've moved her to the serious hospital because she caught pneumonia. She's very frail and in her 80's. I'm not sure she can make it through this.
My mother is also not very well. She has a heart condition and a couple days ago had to have 2 pints of blood given to her because she lost a lot of blood. She's been refusing to take her medications properly and I can't get her to listen to me. I'm worried she's just going to get worse.
Everything is happening at once and it just feels like the world is pushing me. I have and assignment due in 2 weeks and I can't seem to make myself do it. It's just all too much. I can't cope. My self harm it's getting worse again. I'm paranoid. I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm upset. I just need it all to stop. I hate having feelings.
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