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Ughh I think it’s getting worse. I feel down from time to time and pretty frequently. Usually it has a cause sometimes it triggered by my mind that constantly thinking that I am worthless, sometimes my anxiety of my health. Like my sadness has a reason to be happening.
But lately it has not any reason, like I could be chilling and having a relaxing day and boom this heart feels heavy out of the blue. I am afraid this gonna happen cause isn’t that mean i’m going towards not better? Oohh The heck man! I went outside tonight having a little walk with my sis, thought It was gonna be better but it wasn’t. When I see people outside, the atmosphere, the ambiance of night time weirdly enough It feels nostalgic to the point where i’m becoming so sorrow because I kinda miss the past but I can’t have it what I used to have when i was a child that it’s just frustrating for me cause my source of sorrow just doesn’t make any sense.
Why would I be sad of growing up. Why do I keep missing my childhood. Is it because my situation now? Sure adulthood suck I don’t have a job my life’s been stagnant for almost 4 years I’m getting old, sick, crazy, ah. I keep making myself believe that I’m worthless. It’s depressing
Sometimes I connect the dot of “why Me sad 24/7” I think it’s because all of my friends and cousins they have a job, have a life, and I’m left behind. But I refuse to think that having a job means you have a life. Does having a life mean having a job? Is it really?
Is being jobless the source of my sad and sorrowful soul?
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Man I got that feeling too sometimes. I hate that I must having an office job to be considered “a job”, I do wanna quit my job, knowing that having a stressful job doesn’t mean you’re happy. But sometimes society dictates us way too deep. All of the people around me be like arrogant about the job they have but be complaining about it all the time.
They don’t really represent “having a life”. To me having a life means that you do what you believe is important to your heart and people around you. Maybe you are that type that doesn’t go where the other fishes go. You just need to put a meaning to your life by your perspective.
Stop living by society standards
ReplyThank you for your mindful response. I do actually having a family that think a real job is an office job. Cause right now I’m actually running a micro business with my sister, but at this time around it’s going so slow that my parents underestimate us a lot. It’s not that I don’t ever try cause I always looking for a way that I can earn money but with my way. It’s true what you say, society dictates us too much.
Man thank you for replying to my thread with kind words cause some people be responding in insensitive word that don’t really help.
Can’t blame it on the platform tho, not all of people have sensitive sense to others. Cheers you made me better by a lot!
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