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I'm fully aware that I tend to invalidate my feelings, I'm fully aware that I should see someone but the thought that my parents could blame themselves for not seeing anything during those years and being all sad really stop me for taking care of myself mentally speaking. Even though most of it are actually their " fault ", I also don't want them to blame themselves bc they did work a hard for me and my siblings and i know it's wrong but I can't help it.
I joke a lot so it's hard to actually know what's going on but every days i feel empty, I overthink every little thing, I isolate my self for weeks sometimes because I feel like I need a break from " living " and talking to people, I self harm, I used to cry a lot for nothing, absolutely nothing, now I just have the feeling of wanting to cry but nothing comes out, I have this constant feeling in my chest something really uncomfortable, I feel like I shouldn't be living. I feel like I took someone else place on this earth and now I'm wasting it.
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Keep away from all things with screens like phone, video games, and lap top. If you are playing violent or fighting video games no wonder you are like this. These are the things you need a long break from and a permanent break would even be better. While you are young your brain is still developing and these video games are messing up your mind. Find other much nicer things to do and you will feel much better.
ReplyI am so proud of you for breathing when it feels like you have nothing left. That spot that you took was meant for you. You are needed on this earth. You are loved. You have value. You are you and that is beautiful. I’ve been where you are and it’s scary and painful. But it gets better I promise. Just keep fighting and someday you’re going to look back and see the amazing life you’ve made for yourself. Stay strong friend.
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