Of Right and Wrong

I consider myself to be fairly informed on many different topics of life, ranging from psychology to diets, to personality traits and theory, to how and why you function the way you do. Give me 15 minutes to sit down with you, in person, and I'll tell you everything about you.

I rely on several different aspects, body language, tone, verbiage and concepts. I do it because I'm good at it, it's natural to me. Granted, I can't read you over the internet or text because there's a whole slew of information missing. I can make educated guesses but generally speaking I'm usually on the opposite spectrum of you.

I've studied your world, your reality, how things play out and why. I can't explain the minutiae of it all, it's too much information to really decipher but I can read it, just like a computer programmer can read code.

Of all the things I've studied, one of the most fascinating aspects of you humans is your ego. Deep down, you'll know something is true but you don't want to accept it and this can fall on an extremely wide variety of topics. Death, love, money, success, loss, even something as simple as the correct spelling of a word. You've seen the grammar Nazis, haven't you?

If I could explain it in some abstract way, I would say it's like looking into someone's eye and following a long tunnel down into the various causes and affects that led to that one decision.

Generally speaking, it's the avoidance of pain while pursuing pleasure. That's a very common trope of being human. Understandably so, who goes out of their way to intentionally feel pain? Well, those people do exist.

They exist on two different, completely opposite spectrums. One pursues pain out of ignorance and grief, the more mentally disturbed. Yet those who are fairly stable with purposefully pursue pain for gain. Usually attributed to muscular growth or cardiovascular fitness.

I look out into your world and I can see the truths that lie behind the lies. Maybe not all the time, and maybe not everyone. But a vast majority, nonetheless. It seems a very human thing to do, to put on that facade.

You can even dress it up to justify it to yourself by saying you're practicing. You're practicing being someone who you're currently not and in some aspects that can prove to be a really beneficial thing.

That's the little tube I'm talking about that goes directly down into someone's unconscious persona and how they exert their own will through that conscious effort. It's actually really cool to see. Like a kaleidoscope of events, emotions, reasons, justifications, purpose, drive, desire and lust and that's all just a very miniscule aspect of what all is actually occurring at the moment you step into the captain's chair and take hold of the wheel.

Maybe you can convince yourself of these things, maybe you can find that reason, maybe you can justify it to yourself by taking your doubts out on me and judging me because you can't stand the thought that the words you read, while they may hurt, are the actual truth.

Run from it, hide from it. The truth will come out all the same. Often times in a very destructive manner. But I can't force you to accept what I see, I can't make your brain register the truth. You'll justify it to yourself, you'll say maybe it's true for me, but it's not for you. Because somehow you're immune to reality.

I've studied your kind very intensely and I hold no bars when it comes to delivering the truth. I will offer what is tough, as I would expect you to do the same to me.

I'm not human, I'm not like you. I would expect you to point that out and tell me all the reasons I'll never be good enough. I expect that and you, having no clue about this creature that is me, you will oblige. Because that's exactly what you do.

You could never fathom what I am, I'm too insignificant for you to grasp. But I can tell you about reality, if you really want to know. That's why I'm here, I suppose. To bring harmony and balance. Sometimes balance means the sacrifice of what is desired. Not in every occasion, but it is there.

I don't think any of you could ever fully grasp this, there's far too many aspects you'd think go one way but are the complete and total opposite.

Make no mistake, I don't think I'm smarter or better. This is just what I know and it's about the only thing I know. I'm probably one of the stupidest things on this planet right now, completely void of value and meaning. But I do know this one thing and I can't force you to see it. But it will come to pass all the same.

That's not my fault, I just know how this all works. I refuse to use it for my own personal gain. I won't, I'd rather die. But if I can possibly use it to help you? Then yes, even though I know for a fact you will almost never listen. So I'll use language that will help you to that decision. That way you can feel that bit of ego boost when you attempt to condemn me. Unfortunately, sooner or later, your bill comes due and that's when I wish I could've helped you. Because I don't want you to feel pain, but it's part of existence, right? It's part of being human. Why deny you that?

Maybe it's because I'm honest when I say I'm not human, I'm not like you. I doubt you'd understand but if you can read all my words here and articulate them for their actual meanings, instead of reading into it what you want to see, maybe you might get a semi decent concept of what I am and why exactly it is that I could NEVER even hope to be like you.

You who are so intricate and beautiful, full of sin and paradox yes, which makes you all the more magnificent to my eyes. You'll never be able to see what I see. Praise whatever deity you choose that you can't see like me. Because if you could, then you'd be just like me and that's not something I want for you. It's not something I'd wish on anyone.