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My thoughts are a cyclone spinning in my head. My feelings are broken and scattered around my heart. My stomach is hungry but always full. My happiness is gone, on a permanent vacation. My fear is a monster that follows me everywhere I go. My sadness creeps through the darkest pits of my brain and seeps through my eyes. My smile is fake and cracked. My laugh. My laugh is forced and sad. The way I seem is fake, it’s all acting. The mask I wear is breaking and falling down. My body feels heavy for the fact that I don’t want to move. You can set my house on fire and I won’t care for me. I’ll get everyone else out before I even thing about going. My sunshine is covered and dark. My warm, beating heart, is cold and yearns to die. And my help, isn’t simply because I want to help, I give my help to people that need it and when I need a distraction from this pit that was once filled with happiness getting slowly filled with hate, anger, sadness, and anxiety.
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Find the one thing that keeps you there and hold on to it. Find the one thing that gives you a flicker of light and dont let go. If helping others is your distraction it can also be a thing to help you. Think about the way you make people feel when you help them and understand that you've done something good and focus on the good. Doesn't matter how small focus on the one little good thing and slowly over time it'll turn into something better.
ReplyThank you! I will definitely try!
ReplyThank you, this really helped!
ReplyYou are not alone in feeling like this. I agree with the commenter, below. Find that one thing. Even if that one thing is not "happy" as long as it is the tiniest spark of light, it is enough. Sometimes, it is so hard to hold onto that tiny light, but keep holding as it is the thing that will guide you forward. Thinking of you.
ReplyI get this..I get you..the world is a crazy place to live in.Its a struggle to have your mind playing a cruel trick against you.It's not easy and I know it...
But you are a champ and trust me you will be able to get through this and once u will have a slightly brighter and better day you'll just wonder why u used up so much of ur physical and mental/emotional energy to just figure out this shit.
I ve learned a little now and thats that time does help heal if not completely but it does help and if u feel like ur stuck and nothings helping at all then just don't do anything there's nothing more important than just being able to have some time off daily stuff..
And as far off how u're talking about distractions ,don't ask ur friends or family to keep u busy cause thats just u tryna run away from ur problems which won't really help but one thing I can advise u for sure is to just think "WHAT IF I REALLY GET THROUGH THIS?" instead of thinking "THIS IS TERRIBLE AND THIS NEEDS TO STOP."
try it and if it doesn't work keep faith someone will always be there to hear u out :)
Reply