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I don't know if I have like schizophrenia or if I just have psychotic depression but I keep seeing things. I hear voices too but not like prominently. Usually I just hear my name being called over and over although it has also said things like "go home" and "save yourself". Sometimes I just think I'm haunted.
When I see things it's like everyone looking at me and their heads moving like owls. Sometimes I see shadows or it looks like my hands turn invisible. Sometimes I think I've seen a tree glitch or something swoop in front of my face. I also become very paranoid. Thinking I'm being followed and that there's a cult of people on the bus who are trying to find out where I live. Sometimes I refuse to accept things from others because I worry they're trying to poison me.
Thing is I also have symptoms of depression. I do self harm and no voices don't tell me to do it but sometimes I feel so alone and paranoid that I self harm to escape. Although sometimes I just feel really down and sick of life and this empty unbearable feeling so I self harm. But sometimes it makes voices appear. I've heard it shout at me as if it's mad.
I don't know what came first. I don't know what's linked to what. I could have sever depression with psychotic symptoms or I could be suffering from schizophrenia. And don't just tell me to see a specialist. I don't trust people enough to go. I'd want to stay anonymous.
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Go get checked. I'm schitzoaffective and ive seen things like that. Its scary when youre not on meds. I been working for the last 3 years and i have insurance to be on my medication. I take 120mg of geodon and something for sleep. Do not wait to get checked. You'll be zombified at first when you start taking antipsychotics but I promise you after youve taken it for awhile you'll feel better. My meds have helped me a lot. My heads still not perfect but I'm not going crazy hallucinating. Still have voices but theyre not as loud. You can get on government help if you dont have a job.
ReplyI live in the UK, health care is free. I just don't want to tell people what's going on. I don't know maybe if I knew what was wrong I could make it go away or take some herbal meds or something.
ReplyNah dude you need to go to a psychitrist. Get on the good shit.
Reply