Hatred

Hatred destroys.

Even hatred of the self

It can destroy you

And also those around you

My mom hated her body

She always projected that hatred and insecurity onto me

So I grew up with an eating disorder at a young age

And hated myself for a long time

And I was less focused on others since self hatred consumed me

A consuming disorder kept me from spreading love to others

And that love is what heals people

Just to care about and love others can change a lot

Some people want to kill themselves

I wanted to kill myself

And many of those people didn't end things when someone stopped to listen

Listening means you care to some degree

I suppose that's why many hurt inside

Because they aren't heard, or feel they shouldn't be heard for various reasons

I remember growing up afraid to speak about my mental health

Even just my physical health

Because when no one takes you seriously, or doesn't care enough to listen

You grow quieter, wondering what's the point?

And I remember, I just thought my feelings, emotions, and physical pain were

Maybe a burden to others because my parents didn't seem take them seriously

Or pay enough attention

I think I fall under some form of emotional/physical neglect

I don't know for sure, but my parents tried really hard

They just failed me in certain aspects

But I just make the best of things

Try to heal, and realize they aren't perfect

I used to be angry at them

But, I've let that go because I want to love and be there for them as long as they're alive.

And I know they hurt too

And I know love can heal

And hatred just destroys