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4 days ago · · Need opinions ,
I thought he was something, yet I find myself distancing, because my expactaions of who he is failed him.
We chatted, joked around with friends online and grew closer. I gave him my number and told him to write me. He wrote and we were communicating daily.
Eventually things got intense, we started to flirt, had late night talks and plenty of video calls. We dreamt of each other and shared private matters. He made me feel happy. It was a beautiful time and at some point I thought I had feelings for him. And maybe I had.
I found myself wondering what he was doing everyday and how he was doing. But then I had a personal and crisis, which I still haven't recoverd from fully.
In order to get my things together I had to take baby steps. So I did. It took me some time, they were many apsects of my life, which must be dealt with: family problems, graduating, stress and a toxic friend of mine. I hand to think about all my relationships with people, whether family or not.
It was after I sorted out the most of them when I realised that the initiative whenever messaging him was continuously started one-sided, from my side.
He fell in the background as other things had a higher priority to me. I distanced myself because I couldn't afford any emotional commitment more to my plate. Don't get me wrong. Not everything is bad about an emotional connection and some ties attached. It only would have been unfair towards him due to my mental unstable state. Eventually I stopped writing him.
Well sometimes we still speak and talk but it's nothing serious. Lately, I don't get him even more, the atmospere changed.
He is a quiet guy, who likes to listen to me. But going deeper I found out that he can't communicate well in terms of expressing his own feelings.
I thought was it worth it? Eventually I gave up on my ideal idea of him. Haven't given up on him yet, no one knows what the future holds for us but for know I think I had enough.
I think I fell out of love or whatever this was supposed to be