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I am so pissed off that my mom is taking money from my college savings account to buy stupid shit for her "boyfriend" (who is 22 and she's 47). He's obviously just using her for the money which I understand because she has no redeeming qualities at all.
he's not that much older than me which makes it even weirder and more gross. Most of the time he doesn't come over to the house but when he does it makes me want to gag. I just go hide away in my room which isn't actually that bad because its upstairs and away from everything else. The house is also pretty big so normally I can easily avoid them both.
We are literally rich but she still takes money from my savings. She refuses to pay for me to go to college so all that money is from my (now dead) grandparents (on my dad's side), money from jobs I've had and from me selling some of my stuff. She says college is unnecessary and "for poor people who need to fight for their futures".
I need to go to college to get the fuck out of here and have a good job to take care of myself. I wouldn't care about her boy toys if they didn't affect me but they do. I want my life to be normal like everyone else's. I'm always with my friends, either at their houses or just doing something with them. I hate being home so I stay out really late. My room is my only safe place.
My dad left when I was 9 and I have no idea where he is so he's useless too. My daddy issues are especially strong recently. I find myself wanting a boyfriend/attention from boys just for the validation but I ignore the feeling because I want to be independent and highschool relationships are just trouble. I don't want to go down that road. How do I get over this feeling??? I want to focus on my grades and school so I can get into a good college. I'm determined.
Life is SOO complicated and confusing and just weird and I'm so done with it. This is like a dramatic coming of age show on Netflix except the writer is sadistic and hates me
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Hey, I also have daddy issues so I can relate to that. It's easier said than done, but just know that you are enough, with or wo men in your life. Your mom, you deserve someone better than her. It's so sad that money is in the wrong hands sometimes... or maybe money changes people. I hope you get the freedom, respect, and happiness that you deserve.
ReplyFocus on studies and try to get scholarship. Time is tough, but you can make the way.
ReplyChange your expectations. You seem to know how your mom will act in certain situations. Okay, accept it and move on from it. Get your good grades and look for scholarships. Money is not a given and just because our parents have money doesn't mean we do or are entitled to it. It would be nice if she didn't spend that, but she is. So make a plan b (scholarships), and plan c, working through college. Not everyone who goes to college has it paid for by parents.
For the dad issues. Therapy (colleges offer some for free). Some offer a sliding scale if you cannot afford much. And despite the issues you can find someone who works with you. But just knowing you have that issue will help you in seeing behaviors you want to accept and those you don't.
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