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I've had enough. I can't do it anymore. I'm tired. My mind is way too tired to learn anything new. I don't have confidence in myself, I'm burnt out. School is so stressing... Can't move forward and there's no way to go back in time. I'm stuck. Anytime my phone goes off I'm stressed...its probably that next coding assignment again. I used to like them. Now I find no joy in doing them. They say stick it out...it's mentally impossible for me. I have thoughts in my mind all the time, worrying to the point where it has become hard for me to remember things. Some days I don't even remember what we did in class the day before. Am i going to be able to find a job one day? Expectations to meet, uncertain future, aimless wanderer....Cant go back to sleep. What a failure. I have to be up in 4 hours for that retail job I hate...its so hard fighting everyday to stay alive just to enjoy life...lol "enjoy" my ass. this is torture.
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Rant
I'm not sure what I'm doing here. When I was younger I prided myself on how much of a forgiving and kind person I am, immodest as it may sound, but it's true....
When I was young I found school stressing too and when I left I needed a long rest. So do you. Write things down so that you don't forget them. Don't worry about finding a job yet, and don't think of yourself as a failure. Life is not a long comfortable holiday. There are challenges and experiences that are both good and bad. We all learn from our experiences even though we don't realize it at the time. The more experiences you have the more you have to back yourself up with when you face problems.
If things are becoming overwhelming for you try to find the time to take a long rest or as many rests as you can and when you rest play relaxation music, lie down, breathe deeply, and slowly relax yourself all over. Empty your mind and stay there as long as possible listening to the music. Push all thoughts away as you do this.
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