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I..told my older sister that my depression is getting worse. So worse that every single day I feel like killing myself. What I got in response was a 1 hr lecture about how I am not trying hard enough to recover..how it is all me and my thinking and stuff. And then poof. Nothing. She totally dismissed it. Like set it aside like it was nothing like she didn't want to be bothered by it. She didn't take it seriously. She is acting like nothing happened. The same with my parents..I told them I wasn't feeling OK...that I need help. They showed concern for a few minutes and then went back to their work. Maybe I am overreacting or something but it hurt a lot. I need help so badly...and I feel like I can't bring it up to them at all...if I do I will get dismissed again..and that would hurt a lot. I was going to a psychiatrist, but ..he broke my trust and his promise of getting me back to normal by getting mad at me and acting dismissive. I wrote to him because I wasn't good at speaking my feelings, he never even read it. And it hurt like my words didn't matter..my voice can't reach anyone. I feel so alone in all this..and so sad..I don't think I can take it anymore. It hurts too much. My father faked nice for a while when my depression was first diagnosed and he kept up the act for a while and finally lost patience and is now getting irritated with whatever I say...they all are just so exasperated with everything I say. Like they don't want to hear it anymore..and it makes me feel like I should shut up and shut down..and free them from myself.
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You haven't said how old you are so if you are a minor keep telling your parents to get you another psychiatrist or psychologist. If you are older go to your doctor for a referral to another psychiatrist or a psychologist.
ReplyIm so sorry love, im so sorry that nobody pays actual good attention to your depression. Mental health is a serious thing and idk why people treat it like its not a big deal. However, I think I have the solution to your problem. You just typed this on a mental health site, and you can probably get a therapist here too! To the left of your screen, it should say "professional help" and go from there. However, if this isn't accessible to you for some reason, then I must say to please hold on. Ik the pain hurts so much rn, but in no matter should it be disregarded! There's multiple mental health sites online and I could try to find some if you'd like. But please, try to hold on, and try to get REAL help, not like your current psychiatrist. Ask your parents for a different one, or a therapist, or anything that'll help you recover. I hope that you'll get better one day, and be a happier and healthier person. I hope your okay now, and please be safe.
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