Not sorry I cheated on my first husband to find my second

He's my joy. His guitar playing, the way he looks after my son, his laid back attitude, the way he understands me. I've never known true love like this.

I fell in love with him while we were both still married. Whether that's "immoral" or not is irrelevant. It happened. I don't regret finding true love. I hate that people think it was wrong.

My ex was depressed about our divorce. I tried to remain his friend but he couldn't accept that I had found true love and it wasn't him. He was extremely manipulative, and emotionally blackmailed me into giving up the house to him. The house my grandparents built. For three years following our divorce, he drank like a fish and ultimately succumbed to his alcoholism and depression inside the house, after neglecting the property, living in filth, killing my son's rabbit with neglect in the process. I AM NOT SAD THAT HE DIED. I am only sad that the rabbit died. With the type of person he was in reaction to our divorce, I AM NOT SORRY THAT I CHEATED ON HIM. The complete lack of moral character that it takes to have such an attitude about being "replaced" (meaning, his relationship didn't work out like millions of other couples), means he wasn't worth having to begin with. I stayed with him only because I was afraid my family would judge me with Christian values. That was the only thing keeping me there because I resented him so much. We fought constantly. I have not fought with my husband now, in over five years of us seeing each other, whether behind closed doors or not. My parents ended up liking my second husband better than my first, long before the first one died.

My sister is the only one who has judged me about it.

She said I "don't deserve to have the house back" after he died (despite my name still being on it with him, and me taking over payments and spending a LOT of money to fix it up), because "I didn't fight for it" during our divorce. I guess that's an irredeemable sin, to make a decision you regret during a time of mental crisis, and because I said I was glad he was dead. She also said I "need help" and that he's dead because of me, because I said nasty things about him on Facebook when I knew he was depressed. First of all, we weren't Facebook friends. Yes, my posts were public, all of my posts were, not just ones about him. He would go read my page. And I'd complain about the way he wasn't paying his bills and not having a job and drinking. I shamed him for seeing his van at the liquor store when he wasn't paying his bills. If he was reading about himself, he knew why. But just because the posts were public, didn't mean he had to read my page. That's like saying that Kroger killed the diabetic by having candy available, or McDonald's killed the heart patient who chose to eat a burger there. He could have chosen to ignore it.

I got this type of judgment from a woman who tried to get me to steal my mom's pain meds for her so that she could sell them. A woman who has a DUI on her record. She thinks of me as a dishonest person because when I was a kid I told a lot of lies to cover my ass.

But I also told lies to cover hers. I never told my parents about her and her friend going out and doing shit like egging cars and putting baloney on them for fun. I never told them the reason the dinette window got broken was because she beat on it to get the dog to quit barking, not that she tripped like she said. I corroborated her story. And she can't have my back about my relationships and how I handle them.

She never has apologized to me for saying I don't deserve the house or that I "need help." I'm not crazy. My husband knows I'm not crazy. My son knows I'm not crazy. And I'm pretty sure my parents do, despite their Christian values.

My sister will always be on a moral high horse with me. I regret a lot of stupid shit I have done, but I don't regret the things that she thinks I should. My ex did not die because of me. I regret nothing that has to do with the way I left him, or with how I got this house back. I AM NOT SORRY I CHEATED ON HIM, AND I AM NOT SORRY HE DIED. My husband is the love of my life and I'm glad to be rid of the man who broke me.