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Finding Marbles: Depression and cyclical behavior (w/DespicableMe)
2 years ago · 0 · Writing A Book, +3
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Most people have a fairly basic understanding of what depression is and feels like. An average of 2-6% of people worldwide have experienced some form of depression. That may not sound like a whole lot until you remember that's accounting for nearly 8 BILLION people.
§"The share of population with depression ranges mostly between 2% and 6% around the world today. Globally, older individuals (in the 70 years and older age bracket) have a higher risk of depression relative to other age groups" - ourworldindata(dot)org.
So what is depression exactly? And what does it do? Let's take a look at the DSM-5 for reference.
§"Depression, otherwise known as major depressive disorder or clinical depression, is a common and serious mood disorder. Those who suffer from depression experience persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness and lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. Aside from the emotional problems caused by depression, individuals can also present with a physical symptom such as chronic pain or digestive issues. To be diagnosed with depression, symptoms must be present for at least two weeks."
Symptoms of depression include:
Persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, or emptiness. You generally feel down most of the time.
Loss of interest in activities—even in stuff you used to love. It’s like you just lose motivation and feel disinterested.
Trouble sleeping or oversleeping. You have a hard time falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting out of bed. We’re not talking the occasional snooze-hitting; this is like your body is covered in a 50-pound weighted blanket and you can’t get out of bed.
Appetite or weight changes. You’re overeating, lose your appetite, or experience significant weight gain or loss without dieting (about 20 percent of your weight). Sometimes people get a little rush from eating and so they seek that lift and it leads to over-eating; other times though you may just have no appetite at all.
Fatigue or decreased energy. You feel exhausted all the time, or you feel like you can spend days on the couch or in bed.
Difficulty thinking clearly or quickly, remembering details, concentrating, or making decisions. You feel distracted and focusing seems impossible.
Irritability, frustration, or pessimism. Your mood and headspace feel negative most of the time.
Physical aches and pains. You may have headaches, stomachaches, or neck tension.
Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide, with or without a plan to actually do it. If you or someone else needs help now, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
§https://www.psycom(dot)net/depression.central.html#depressionsigns-amp-symptoms
Now that we have the basics addressed let's move into how these cycles work and why. The first and foremost problem with depression is a general lack of energy and interest.
This can lead an individual to believe many things that aren't true, or somewhat loosely based in reality. Take the thought "It always feels like this" for example.
This extreme focuses in one the assertion that symptoms are always there, all the time. Which is factually untrue despite how it actually feels.
The fact is that even if there are just 5 minutes in a day or even a week where these symptoms are not present, then it isn't "all the time". This isn't a method of disproving the severity or amount of occurrences in which one actually suffers from these symptoms. It is a method of hope, that if these symptoms aren't actually present all the time then there are times where one is NOT feeling this way. In that, we focus on those moments when the feelings of depression are absent and try to expand the amount of time that symptoms are absent.
This delves down into the practice of being depressed. When you're in those moments and experiencing the lows of it, it's very easy to get caught up in those cycling thoughts and emotions. The mind intensely and intently hones in on flaws, regrets, loss, the physical sensations of depression and discomfort, all these different aspects and the vicious cycle tends to go further and further down until the most immediate response is lethargy, emptiness, and potentially suicidality.
However, if we can catch ourselves in these moments and understand that we are very literally meditating on these thoughts and emotions, we can choose to move in a different direction. Using some form of healthy distraction to help shift the attention so that focus isn't solely on those specific experiences.
One might simply twiddle their thumbs, or practice manual breathing to put some amount of that attention elsewhere. To lessen the impact on those emotions.
Even as such, we can sometimes get caught up even when well prepared. Sometimes it just comes up for not particular reason. It's not a sin to get caught up for those moments but generally being able to say to yourself "ok, I'm feeling this way right now" and acknowledging that emotional response, then gently and kindly moving away from it. Allowing you to shift your focus to more desirable activities.
Then there's the doubt and disassociation involved which can be harder to spot and in these moments we can often feel like we're not good enough, our efforts aren't good enough, we're being dishonest with ourselves, others are being dishonest with us etc.
These types of thoughts are more difficult to root out and care for. It speaks to our most inner idea of who we are and how we perceive the outside world.
This is where bridging your thoughts can come in handy. Say the thought is "I'm completely useless, I should just kill myself". The conscious practice here is to directly challenge that thought.
We start by consciously saying inside our minds or even aloud if need be that "I'm not entirely useless". We're not being overly optimistic here, allowing for some validity of that emotion. But we are steering the mind away from this notion of uselessness and suicidality.
This takes practice and giving yourself the time to actually make headway is excruciatingly important here. It's just practice.
As we move forward we take that same thought of "I'm not entirely useless" and we change it again to "I do have some use" or "I have some value". You see, we are bridging the thought process. Changing the language of the mind to more reflect a positive, hopeful outlook. Which is imperative in the battle against depression.
If we can change the language of our inner monologue and our thoughts, we can change the narrative, change the propaganda. Which in itself becomes it's own cycle as we progress further and further and taking the time to actually build that language of self love and self acceptance. Now changing that thought of "I have some value" or "I do have some use" and now replacing it with "I am valuable" or "I am useful".
The process in itself takes time and it's not a fault to find yourself still having those negative thoughts from time to time. It's something to be expected, remember we're only practicing here. Nothing is set in stone, which in itself inherently contradicts those thoughts of everything is hopeless and there's only one way out. Depression is a very "set in stone" type mentality and moving away from that and allowing for opportunity to arise, for the unknown to be accepted, leads us into better acceptance of ourselves.
Bear in mind that sometimes it takes all the willpower we have to do battle with our own mind and it's not wrong to simply take a day to yourself, baby yourself. Throw on your favorite movie or music, get a nice cozy blanket, get some snacks (preferably healthy ones) and just acknowledge that you are spent when you have the ability to. Giving yourself permission to just take it easy whenever your schedule will permit.
Taking all of these things into consideration, this is a LOT of information that you have to keep track of and your very first goal has to be to allow yourself to be human, to allow yourself to make mistakes. Taking these beginning steps and understanding what depression is and how it works and beating depression at it's own game.
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