Me

I know by choosing the title "me" sounds a little too selfish of me, but honestly i don't know why i always end up getting frustrated of myself. I'm very well aware of the fact, i.e, "one can only find flaws in themselves, and overlooks the things they are good at". But me, being actually well aware of these facts tends to weigh me more down. No matter how i look at it, i am always surrounded by these unneccessary thoughts of mine. i believe everybody have it too, but i have confidence that the amount of nothingness i've or more like lacking way too many things might be on just another level. Maybe it's just in my head, you'd say but everytime i want to do something or do something i always end up questioning myself specifically when i have to maintain my composure. Focus and determination, is what i most battle with. This is something very basic required for any particular field. even if i have motivation, they're always standing against me and i'm sick of it which indirectly means, i'm sick of myself and this wavering side of me. It's not like i don't wanna do better at things i like, but "when things don't work i'm not at all comfortable with that feeling at all cause how would it actually feel like when you're basically lacking self-confidence, having quite a lot of insecurities about you're capability,to put a cheery on the top of this beautiful cake "things don't turn out well"...it eventually ends up breaking me." Well i don't really know what else to say...but if anyone actually read this whole...i'm genuinely grateful. (p.s. note:- also it's my first time writing it here)