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Today was another hard day. I woke up too late to do anything productive again, and to top it off they came and took my car today. I feel like I’m slowly losing everything. I’m not handling any of it well. I appear to be but I’ve already passed the level of being overwhelmed and now I’m just numb. Sitting around just thinking “What am I going to lose next?” Ky barely being able to respond is starting to get to me, which it shouldn’t but it is because what if she is just simply ignoring me? I don’t know. There’s another girl, Alex, she’s pretty cool. I just wanna find someone and settle down, ya know? I’m kind over these failed talking stages and casual flings. But it’s keeping me from getting too dark. I get to see my mom tomorrow and we’re going to come up with a plan to get me out of this mess. I just feel so helpless and worthless. I feel guilty that I ate today. This is all over the place and a whole mess just like my head. As always I just want to mean something to someone. Someone I connect with, not just whoever is available. I have so many girls trying to hit me up but I just don’t connect with them. On the other side, the one’s I am interested in and connect with don’t seem to reciprocate and it’s a vicious cycle. But hopefully soon someone will break that cycle. There really isn’t much else to say today. I’m going to try again tomorrow and hopefully I have a better day than I did today. Just to find the motivation to actually get up and do something. I’ll update you tomorrow!
Love Always,
Your Favorite Borderline ♥
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ReplyI hope your mother can help you. All the best.
ReplyThank u! ♥
Replyhey, I know everything probably seems hopeless right now, I get it. Though the fact that you're trying to get out of this bad mental space shows how strong you are. I bet your Mom is proud of you for trying as well. I'm proud and I'm just a random 16 year old. Also you don't always have to be productive to feel worthy. Although even simple tasks can make you feel productive, maybe go clean the bathroom or your bedroom. Do something that makes you feel proud of yourself for doing because it was a difficult task, but still attainable. Even if it's later you can still do certain things. I'm happy you're trying and thank you for being here today. I appreciate you. I hope everything goes well.
ReplyI don't think u realize how much I needed to hear that! I know ur a random person on the internet but I appreciate u! ♥ Don't forget to smile and drink water today! ♥
Reply