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I had objections to dating in the first place, I didn't want to lose the friend. Well we've been together for years now, almost seven, and nothing has become more apparent than the fact that he is more infatuated with me than I can ever been with him. I love him, I really do, unconditionally, but I'm just not in the romantic kind of love. Hell, sometimes I even recoil from him. We've been talking a lot and he's been making a huge effort to become "worthy" of me (his words, not mine). Even the fact that he feels that he has to change all of himself just for me makes me ashamed of myself, for keeping this going for so long even though there's been plenty opportunity to leave. With every talk I reveal a little more of how I feel, never getting down to the nitty-gritty and saying what I feel I actually want. I promised him that I'd keep fighting for the relationship till the end, but I think that it'll just make it more painful to leave. While I will keep my promise, but if nothing else, how can I leave gently and keep him as the best friend I've ever had?
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It's hard to say because usually once friends become lovers it's hard to go back to just friends. He's obviously in love with you and it will probably hurt him to just remain friends.
I think though that if you don't feel romantically about him then you should just end it lightly because I think he'll be grateful in the end.
Although you guys might not be friends for a bit after, you have to understand that he is hurt and needs space. You can't expect a guy who loves you to automatically just shut those emotions off and become the friend he previously was.
He will probably need space, and it's hard to hear but it's ultimately his choice if he thinks he can be friends after.
It's a hard subject and I'm sorry I can't help with more. I hope all goes well with you two.
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