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Sometimes I just want to yell fuck it. Fuck it all. I look in the mirror and I wanna yell fuck it. I try so hard to just be happy with the way I look and sometimes I am happy but most of the time I want to disappear. Sometimes I wish I had won the genetic lottery. I know this is so fucking stupid but I just want to be prettier. I want to be beautiful and strong and just confident enough to not let anyone take advantage of me anymore like he did. I don’t want to feel bad when I get rejected because I’m not pretty enough. I don’t want to feel like I have to give my body away for validation. I want to look in the mirror and tell myself no one can tell me what the fuck to do. When I’m beautiful, I want to yell fuck you to everyone who ever said I was too this or that. I want my 7 year battle with acne to just end. What fucking 8 year old has to deal with acne?!?! It’s just not fucking fair at all. I fucking starved myself because my sister called me fat when she had an ed and then a year later a guy told me I would be prettier if I was thicker. What the fuck is wrong with this society? What the fuck it wrong with me? Why can’t I be happy in the body that I was born in?
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You are going through so much. And I am very sorry. I know for a fact that you may not have you're dream body. But you must work for it! It may not be easy but with some support through the people you love, and you're own confidence it will help. I don't want to assume religions but you can always ask Jesus and God for help, love. :)
ReplyExcellent advice; I agree we get out what we put in (results usually equal effort).
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
ReplyFirst step is accepting and loving yourself hun :)
ReplyYou are beautiful!! This society has groomed so many people into thinking that to be pretty, you can’t be too tall or too short, too skinny or too fat, too this or that. Those ideas are so harmful and unrealistic. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Lots of love <3
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