I'm so weak in this life

Hey. I'm just someone who still studies in college somewhere in Southeast Asia. I'm a final student, soon will enter my 9th semester. Well I don't know.. I didn't expect it to be this long. The average people here finish their college in semester 8 and free of charge.

I was fine before, my tuition fees were high because previously both my parents worked. but my family's financial condition is very poor now my father was at a loss and couldn't handle it. only my mother works, but she also gets sick often, I can't bear to see her work so hard and pay for me. I have skills in art, design and can be freelance. but somehow it's hard to break my zero income into any income. I've tried many times, but always find obstacles and I finally quit. people keep asking me to do something but they refuse to pay. I am very sad that my work is not appreciated. I'm trying to find freelance work from abroad but it's so hard to accept. I ended up expecting only my mother's money.

I was in difficult circumstances and my father was no longer working, but my college had no intention of reducing my tuition payments. my lecturer arbitrarily told us to repeat the next semester, meaning I had to pay in full again. I can't afford it again within 1 week. my mother looks dizzy thinking about it, I know that, even though she didn't say anything, but in her eyes there was so much burden. my father is an annoying person, he only spends my mother's wealth and always loses, he doesn't want to be blamed and also corrects his mistakes.

I'm crying this time and another night. why is it so hard to earn my own income in my life? I'm tired of being humiliated. I prayed to God, but all got no reply. very sad to see my elderly mother working so hard, especially during this pandemic. I didn't expect anything, I just wanted to let out my frustration and sadness, my life was so dramatic and heavy.