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I am currently working in my home country and I will be leaving for another for my master in September. work right now is tough, I am constantly worried that I am being watched by other colleagues and that they would talk behind my back instead of telling me and no matter what I do, they have something to say about. I don't want to do anything wrong and I feel like even if I take a short break it would come off as lazy. I also don't want my teammate to feel stressed because I cannot be much help to him, I feel like I'm a burden instead. I'm also worried I cannot keep my current friendships after I leave for school, I feel like none of my friends actually care about me because I already told her that I would leave soon and she said she is upset but she wouldn't initiate any hangouts, it is always me, i feel like she doesn't care at all. then, I'm worried my life in the other country would not be what I expected and I'm scared I would not have enough money for myself. I am so tired and I used to be so excited to leave this place, I often dream about leaving. But now i feel like maybe I started working here as well, I got more friends, people that I don't wanna lose, I want to be with them for longer. but I guess everything has its time and our time is almost up. my new chapter is coming but I'm not sure I wanna close my current one. and I feel like I have been pent up for so long that I need to let my emotions out, but I feel like crying is such a weak thing to do and this is such a stupid reason to cry on. I already planned on leaving on my last day at work because I don't think I can stand being unemployed for too long, and I would feel empty inside since I would not need to be at somewhere at 9 am the next day, like I got nothing, I know its hard to understand. So I want to leave immediately, but I'm not sure that is the right choice, I don't want to regret it afterwards.
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