I'm in pieces.

Hi....the guy I loved the most turned out not to be someone I thought he was. See, I am a teenager and I need advice. I am fourteen. My boyfriend and I were together for two years. I always prioritised him, not matter what. I loved him a lot. He's my first love you see. He taught me what non blood related love is. He loved me too. We fought sometimes and it began to get toxic. On February 7th, left me. He said he got another crush in his school. That broke me. Really broke me. I agreed to stay freinds with him just for the sake of keeping him in my life. He ignored me. It would hurt a lot. I would cry myself to sleep most days.... I even hurt myself. It was hell. I never felt so shattered in my entire life. But it all changed in April, when he came back. I knew he would leave me again but I just couldn't resist the chance of talking to him properly. We got so close, even closer than before. He loved me. And made me happy. Untill one day, I smoked. U see, he had warned me not to, but I feel relief smoking and started smoking in the first place because of him.... sometimes he would not talk to me like a whole day and not tell me the reason. That hurt, that really hurt. I used to break down, cry a lot, slap myself. So instead of breaking down, I smoked. It calmed me down. So, the thing is, we broke up, once again. I asked if he was happy without me, and he said yes. It broke my heart but I decided to move on. But then, he came back. By then, my feelings have declined for him. I didn't love him like I used to and only reason I changed was because he said he would be happy without me. But then he said that he didn't mean it and stuff. And besides he was hurting, so I decided to give him another chance. But it was not like it used to be. I needed breaks after talking an hour and so. He disliked this. He would get angry if I relaxed for a while instead of talking to him. Sometimes I would get busy, and he would get angry and say that he meant nothing to mean, which was totally wrong. This went on for a while. Today he left me. He made me choose between talking to him for 6 hours daily or breakup. I chose breakup. I am a student. I have responsibilities and there are things which I should focus on and given my busy schedule, it would really mess things up for me. I even offered to talk for 3 hours daily. But he refused. He simply said it was either 6 hours or breakup. It really hurts. And I love him a lot. And he does too, he's a good person and loves me more than anyone could. But I have no choice.... I'm having doubts...what if I'm wrong? What if no-one ever loves me like him again? What if I never find true love. Given some imperfections, he was perfect. Everything was. Just he's acting immature.....I don't know what I should do