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My Timed Entry
2 years ago · · Stress,
There's this guy I've met recently through an online academic summer program. Since the program ended, I haven't been able to get off my mind. I haven't had much social contact (except for my family who I live with) since the pandemic, and through this online program I've been able to meet some amazing people and make new friends.
However, now I'm concerned about myself because I think my feelings for him have turned into an unhealthy attraction/obsession since the program ended.
The program was an academic 6hr/day event on zoom everyday that lasted 4 weeks. Throughout it, I've talked to him briefly, but its difficult to really get to know someone online, especially in a zoom meet with many other people.
I wasn't sure how I felt about him at first, and I certainly don't know how he feels about me. Thinking back, I feel that he has done some things to try to make me laugh. Others in the program also teased once half-heartedly that he and I were in a relationship (when we were discussing relationships btwn people in the program in general), to which he replied "that's crazy" in an embarrassed kind of way. Of course, this could all be my hyper-active imagination obsessing over small details. He could have just been acting himself and minding his own business.
Despite the month-long program though, I still barely know him. Since the program ended, I now cannot stop thinking about him. I've even been having weird dreams about him. I know that I need to get on with my life. I just can't figure out how to forget him.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this mess of an entry made of my jumbled thoughts for the past few days. I'd appreciate any comments/advice!