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I have written 3 similar poems and I need help choosing which one of the three is the best one.
...
poem #1 (long version, same ending as poem #2)
I like the color yellow,
Because it reminds me of your laughter,
The laughter that echoed in the living room,
The laughter that made me feel alive,
I like the color red,
Because it reminds me of the warm hugs you gave,
The hugs that made me forget my worries,
The hugs that took care of me,
I like the color green,
Because it reminds me of the flowers you gave me,
The flowers that filled up the house with a heavenly scent,
The flowers that glistened in the sun,
I like the color purple,
Because it reminds me of the butterflies,
The butterflies that fluttered in my stomach whenever I saw you,
The butterflies that made me fall in love,
But I love the color blue,
Because it was your favorite color.
//
poem #2 (shorter version, same ending as poem #1)
I like the color yellow,
Because it reminds me of your laughter,
The laughter that echoed in the living room,
I like the color red,
Because it reminds me of the warm hugs you gave,
The hugs that made me forget my worries,
I like the color green,
Because it reminds me of the flowers you gave me,
The flowers that filled up the house with a heavenly scent,
I like the color purple,
Because it reminds me of the butterflies,
The butterflies that fluttered in my stomach whenever I saw you,
But I love the color blue,
Because it was your favorite color.
//
poem #3 (same as poem #2, but different ending)
I like the color yellow,
Because it reminds me of your laughter,
The laughter that echoed in the living room,
I like the color red,
Because it reminds me of the warm hugs you gave,
The hugs that made me forget my worries,
I like the color green,
Because it reminds me of the flowers you gave me,
The flowers that filled up the house with a heavenly scent,
I like the color purple,
Because it reminds me of the butterflies,
The butterflies that fluttered in my stomach whenever I saw you,
But I love the color blue,
Because it reminds me of the tears that I shed when you left,
The tears that made me realize my worth.
---
I feel like the two different endings of the poems change the meaning of the poem completely. But I just don't know which one is better. I'm not going for a specific vibe, just tell me which one of the three poems you prefer! (I'm also open to a mixture of two or all of the poems)
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ReplyI really love 2, but if I may after poem two, where you put
" Because it reminds me of the butterflies,
The butterflies that fluttered in my stomach whenever I saw you,".... you can put
"But the color I love most is the color blue,
"Because it reminds me of the tears that I shed when you left,
The tears that made me realize my worth."
if not, I really love all versions of your poem. <3
ReplyOhh yes! I really like all of them. I definitely agree that the ending changes everything. I’d say I love the third one because I relate to it more and I absolutely love the line “the tears that made me realize my worth.” I think that’s a gorgeous way to end it but my favourite it probably this last combo in the comments. Everyone is beautiful though. You’re a talented writer
Reply