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I'm trying to fill my life with good things so I can feel fulfilled and not be reliant on someone else for my happiness. But every good thing seems bad without her.
What's the point of being funny if it's not her laughing? What's the point of laughing if she's not listening? What's the point of listening if she's not speaking? What's the point of speaking if she's not there to see? What's the point of seeing if she's not in front of me?
What's the point of money and success? What's the point of kindness and happiness? What's the point of sadness and pain? What's the point of living and loving? It all feels totally empty now.
I feel completely foolish and helpless. All my intelligence, kindness, and ability, whatever they are or were, are rendered useless because of how badly I long to be with her.
Although something in her made me feel this way, I can only blame myself. She never tried to win my affection. She did this accidentally, as a byproduct of just being herself.
I don't think I will ever win her heart. My chances are behind me. That stings more than anything. I was once calm and cool and not in love with anyone but now I'm obsessive and emotional. I think over and over about every word she's said to me, which she probably gave half a thought.
I can't go on like this very long and I hope I will find a way out.
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Life is just like that sometimes
ReplyCareful or you gonna make me think life is pointless
ReplyWhat is the reason you two are not together? (if you don't mind me asking?)
ReplyI guess a mixture of distance and disinterest. She made it sound like the distance is the obstacle but I don't think she's very interested in me. She's nice to me but just doesn't seem to care. I can't be mad at her for it but obviously it's very upsetting to me. It's embarrassing to feel so strongly about someone who will probably forget you.
ReplyAh...I understand. I am sorry. I know it hurts. A lot. I wish too that you could share your love with her and she return love to you. However, I don't think you should waste your life looking back at her, when someone else who is great is out there. If she is not interested, then unfortunately, you have to accept that she gets to make her own decisions, move on and let go of the idea in your mind of being with her.
We are not always going to get what we want and I'm sorry she doesn't feel the same way.
What I think you should do is to say these words out loud (and maybe look at yourself in the mirror too):
I am in love with someone who is not in love with me. I accept it and it is okay. I am moving on. She is not the only good women I will meet.
I hope this helps. ❤
ReplyThank you for this thoughtful reply. I was starting to move on when someone suggested to me that maybe she is interested and if I pursued her more maybe it'd work out. I think that person was wrong but it set me back to feeling hopeful and desperate and angsty. When I ask what's the point of life without her, I know the question is foolish, but it comes from the heart.
It's so hard to separate myself from this feeling with that lingering bit of hope holding it to me, but I know I need to keep trying until I have moved on.
Thank you again for your concern and your advice. I will try it.
Replybecause he’d rather it stay in the computer where everything is neat and tidy and everything goes where you tell it to go, right babe?
ReplyHuh? What's that mean?
ReplyI am so sorry you’re going through this. I am too and it absolutely sucks. I know exactly how u feel and how you’ve been feeling. Hopefully we will both get through it :)
ReplyThanks. I hope the same for you.
Reply