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Though I haven't really kept myself in touch with the news of lockdown in Melbourne, I know that we are likely to still stay in for the next fortnight before I could go back to school. Honestly it's unbearable to imagine, but even as I try not to pay mind to what's happening in Australia, I am still in the same hell as everyone else is. It's a real pain in the ass, I miss taking the train to school listening to music, I miss having the classroom atmosphere (also strangely to wake up very early in the morning to wake up for it), I miss seeing my mates at school, and I also miss the feeling of living. If only people would stop being such selfish pricks, then maybe we can be able to go back to that, even if it were for only a few months.
For me, it'll be hard before we are able to have the chance of getting back out, and there are a lot of things on my mind that I haft to think about and things to do because of certain events that are happening in my life. Firstly, since this year is one of my last times to be in high school, I wish that I could be able to have opportunities to get better at my studies even from home.
Secondly, like in the last post I've mentioned in my last post, I plan on coming out to my parents on being bi and non-binary/ genderfluid, but for that to happen, me and my therapist have made a plan for her to meet my parents face-to-face so that she could be there to support me when it happens.
Lastly, because of the second one also with my therapist, I would need to find a new counselor since she is due to have a baby in the coming months. Before lockdown had started, maybe during our second week, she told me that our time together would only last until the end of the term in September. For the past 4 years now she had helped me through a rough patch in my life, I feel indebted to her for making me be proud and content with who I am, and also make me more confident in talking about my feelings towards her. For the past few weeks I have already prepared gifts for her pregnancy and birthday in October, and a goodbye/thank you letter which I planned on giving to her when we'd meet. However,I don't think that would be possible anymore if the extension happens.
Thinking about lockdown is figuratively driving me up the wall, I'm scared of what the future holds, and also about what would happen with how I am wasting it now by sitting in my room all day with not so much as any effort to move around the house. When will this hell end for us, and if it doesn't will people actually listen and stop being dicks? How could I cope?
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