What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
i'm a person who always puts others' needs before my own. I try to comfort, not offend, please, and take care of others. i have never seen anything wrong with caring for very ill people and taking them into my life. I have always wondered why do I always end up a codependent, taking care of some addict who almost always hurts myself and my family because of who I've let in, thinking I am only helping this person. today I learned in the way i usually do, to think of what I'm doing from their perspective, what do they feel in this? this is what I believe. the reason a codependent relationship is dysfunctional is aside from the obvious, you will literally let the poor sap kill himself with his vice because you're only there to please and meet his every need. aside from that, you are taking this damaged person and placing him into your environment, a place where no addicts live. how painfully shaming it must be to force someone into an environment where his weaknesses cause him more harm than had you let him be where he was (in his comfort). I see the harm my comfort and carrying him causes. I don't want to be another reason he feels shamed. therefore I'll let him be among people more like him, where perhaps he can find some pride in himself, away from me and my incredibly calm self, that can only hurt someone who can't even crawl out of his own struggles.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
b*tch got no class
i'm the victim. i'll take anyone's money for the several lies in a day i tell. i'll let everyone believe i'm sleeping safely being treated, while i'm really at...
-
Dear Addict
Loving you was never hard. The moment I met you I felt a connection so strong I could not stop smiling from then on. Our first date was walking around stores wi...
Addicts can only receive help when they want the help to lift themselves up from their grimy existence.
ReplyI'm an addict, so maybe my perspective will help. It's easy to blame the addict especially when they push you away. But that's the addiction talking. I pushed my gf away, just like you described, I told her I was happier with my drugs. I wish she had stood up and said NO, THAT'S THE DRUG TALKING. But instead she let me go. It accelerated my spiral and today I'm on the verge of suicide. My fault, yes. But it's my fault the same way a lung cancer victim is to blame for smoking cigarettes. You can't tell someone with lung cancer that they need to help themselves. Similarly you can't tell an addict they have to help themselves. Both are horrible diseases that take their toll on the psyche and alter the way a person behaves, reacts to others, feels. I'm dead meat. I suspect the person you're describing is dead meat also. Nobody's fault really. It just happens.
Reply