What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
So my partner (m-21) and i (f-19) have a really healthy relationship. If we ever come across any problems, we recognize it and we have a respectful and resolving conversation about it. I've been noticing that whenever we have a conversation, he would have anxiety about it when I point out a mistake he has made. I've reassured him all the time that I'm not breaking up with him over this although he always thinks that due to his past relationships. We had a conversation today about something he said that was bothering me and he apologized immediately and told me that he would definitely strive to do better and show the results. He said there were no excuses to be made and he was definitely in the wrong. Everything was going smoothly until he started saying that he couldn't breathe and that his hand was shaking because he was feeling guilty. He then went on about how I'm mad at him and how there's a lot of things wrong with him. I'm not sure what to say to this or handle it. In a way, I feel like he's redirecting the conversation to victimize himself, but I'm not sure if that's what it is. I really want to know what to make of this and how to handle it.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
us
hey, i noticed as other people have came and gone, you and i have been the constant, though in an off-and-on fashion. there is no one else in my life with that...
-
i agree
you were never sincere in anything and say whatever you feel like without even considering anything. you have no conscience. it's why you keep going on about th...
Hey~~ so I don't think he's necessarily victimizing himself. Sometimes people can seem like they're doing that on purpose but it's just them voicing their frustration with themselves. As long as he's not blaming you for anything out of your control, I wouldn't worry about that. It sounds like you two have a pretty good relationship so if I were you (I'm huge on honesty and talking about everything) I'd just want to talk about his anxiety and try to understand it and how he feels. Maybe figure out something to help him stop saying those things and to just help in general. People who have had bad past experiences with multiple relationships tend to think that everything that goes wrong in one is their fault so I can see why he could be a little Insecure sometimes.
-Best of luck!
ReplyHi! It sounds as though he could benefit from counseling to address his anxiety and poor self image. I doubt you can do anything further to help him avoid feeling that way. Perhaps you can tell him you're concerned about how he's suffering and gently suggest counseling. (While he works on this, you might consider letting some of his "mistakes" go without discussing them.) Good luck to both of you!
Reply