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How do people meet each other, like each other, begin to fall in love, and then work from there? I cannot even make FRIENDS easily without overthinking and being confused, yet there are people out there loving and being loved and engaging in physical, mental, and emotional forms of intimacy and compassion as if it somehow is their natural process. It must be nice to love AND be loved. Practice makes perfect, I suppose, and maybe these people have taken many bad turns in relationships beforehand to get to the reciprocal-loving road they are on now, but how can a dude who is just out of college and has never had a fully-functioning girlfriend even BEGIN to get any form of relationship experience when the only females out there available are not interested and/or already taken?! Darn it, most THIRTEEN year olds have a more active romantic life than me! Besides, as WELL: how do guys even APPROACH women without getting pepper-sprayed or shot at for having the audacity to communicate? I am socially awkward and have Asperger's syndrome, so maybe women automatically think that I am some sort of creepy perverted robot lunatic before I can even open my mouth. I always fear the rejection, as well, so do not even bother most women for fear of a misunderstanding ensuing and the police being called. I always expect the worst, for the worst is all that I'll ever have known. All the women would LAUGH at me, though, even WERE an initial, semi-flirtatious conversation attainable, for I have ZERO experience with ANYTHING regarding romantic relationships and would therefore be an undesirable candidate for any woman's attention, not to mention being weird, quirky, and academically inclined. My self esteem is at rock bottom all the time, and I cannot even bear to fathom the devastation that would arise from humiliating myself if I tried to meet any women anywhere and attempt to woo them beyond a generic friendship. Suicidality has ensued, and no hope remains in this life if I cannot somehow progress forward to crossing paths with even ONE potential significant other that just MAYBE could be an important person to me equally as much as I would be to her. How do you people do it?! Where do I start? What is my purpose in life if I am depressed and without a person? I know how to respect women, and I always TRY to do this, but one mistake could always go very poorly if people do not understand that I am just socially struggling out here and am TRYING MY BEST to be a normal human! Gee whiz, you guys, I am not an idiot, but somehow have become one with women. Any advice is appreciate, I suppose, yet a trigger alert exists, please. I give up.
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