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I have been knowing this guy since middle school. We were in the same crowd, me and him always play around, me and him never really saw each other like that. People would always say that all the play fighting would turn out into us dating but his response or mine would be like "ehh noo". Years passed and i never thought of him like that, yeah he was a close friend well maybe thinking about it i don't even know if he considered me as a friend. But we had always classes together, lockers next to each other somehow, and it was just normal bc I just never thought it like that. Yeah sometimes I would catch him staring at me and smilling but it was like oohh he is in love with me. We would always fight as playing around. He would take my backpack and play around and even my phone. I would also play with him. The pandemic hit and out nowhere I just couldn't stop thinking about him. It was a weird feeling. But i just said to myself that it was not that I actually liked him it was maybe because I felt lonely. So i just let it pass. But it got longer and that thought of him didn't leave my head after a whole year. I told one of my friends one of the same people we grew around so she knows him too. She was tryna get out of him of who he has liked. But he's very hard to talk about things. He was telling my friend " why are u asking me thing" " and she would just say its because someone likes you. he asked her if i like him like it was funny question. but she denied of course. Then he did told her he did like someone and it was another friend of mine. After this I was just like in my head "he doesn't like you, he doesn't see you like that. You like him because you are lonely." I was like ok i guess this is not for me because it is not the first time this happens to me like i am used to it. Yeah it hurt a little. But he didn't knew so i was glad. Problaly like 2 weeks before graduation he texted me asking me for help on his work. and i did. it was pretty normal. i was like in my head " You did not even liked him..." He was still texting me, he would ask questions and stuff then he was like ohh thank you ill pay you when i see u.. ill give u a hug as friends. I was like trying to ignore what he was saying by telling him it was fine. then he asked me out of nowhere "Do you have a boyfriend (asking as a friend nothing weird)" and i was like suprised from the question and I was blushing lmaaooo Like i am right now writing this. I told him no. then the conversation was just like normal stuff. then i just left like that bc it was clearly he was reponding late. or leaving me on opened. I kinda forgot about it. then graduation day came and I WAS NERVOUS. My friend decided to be near him. he was sitting infront of me. my two cousins were there, and my friend and him sitting like in a little circle. when i saw him i was like just act normal. he doesnt know so just be normal do not freak out or turn red. at first he ignored me. he was quiet. i was talking to the other people next to me. then out of nowhere he turned around to see me. and he was like giving me a hand shake. he ask me about how summer was and all and I could baerly face him or his eyes BECAUSE HE WAS LIKE SMILING. lmaoo. As we were waiting, i wanted to go to the restroom and then like none of my friends wanted to go with me. he offered to go with me and i was like no im just kidding. lol. as we stood up i kinda would just catch me just staring at me. the ceremony ended and I haven't seen him since. and until now I just can't stop thinking about like If i should confess it or die with regret of what could've happened. But i am scared of rejection. you see i am not the prettiest when it comes to face or im physically attractive. but idk. i am here writing this beause i have no one to tell. and i kinda just want a sign to let me know to just go with my life.
thank u for reading this.
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quick question to the boys
what do you find instantly attractive in a woman? (I mean things you can make out pretty quick, not like loyalty, honesty etc.)...
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boys, I have a question
do you find short or long hair more attractive? no thinking, just short or long. whatever comes to your mind first....
that's kinda messed up, isn't it
after graduation, you just won't get to hang out with him like you used to. whatever form your relationship will become, it won't be the same exact thing.
english isn't my native language and i never lived in an english speaking country so i might be understanding this wrong.
but if i am, then he likely knows this too and that's why you'd see him behaving differently. the lockdowns aren't the main reason why this is happening.
romantic relationships aren't the only kind of relationships that are left available though.
so this is a tricky situation but i guess you could try to be more open minded about this, it's not like there are only two drastically different futures ahead of you.
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