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So I am in the last year of highschool and idk if what I am writing is appropriate but I want to get this out of my chest and maybe get some advice. I am a straight A student. My parents made me join a school with rigorous studying methods (Entrance coaching for writing NEET to get into medical school). Online classes started, it was not so bad till 2 months into it when I started reading web novels. I became so into reading that i would read like 1 novel a day and not watch my classes. In this centre, we had 1 exam every week and not watching means, I basically did not write them honestly. It became completely worse in Aug 2020 where I did not even try to watch classes. So the entire year went by like that. I am still reading but I atleast try to finish my classes though not always. I am constantly putting it off for the later and not studying. I feel completely terrible and have absolutely no ambitions in life now. I used to want to be a doctor and everything but now? I am just living and I don't really find much meaning in it especially in a life where I never do what i am supposed to and cheat myself, my family and my teachers. I tried to stop reading but it was like I have withdrawal and I always keep coming back and even if i dont read, i still am not able to make myself study. I envy people who study without troubles and I hate myself every moment for it and just read more to escape from the hate. and school is still going on except I have absolutely no idea what to do especially because my basics are weak due to my shenanigans last year. My portions for this year are about to be over yet i dont know a single thing. I am just a huge failure and I am scared of people finding out and being disappointed on me. I try to study but I just cant and i dont even understand half of the itme what they are teaching. My parents are also doctors so they have gone through this pressure which just makes me feel that I am acting like a big baby. idk if i have a problem or I am just an incompetent child. Anyway, if you have read this long then wow..idk why anyone read this pathetic story but anyways Thank you.
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Replywattpad inkint & goodread is the boon & bane of my existence. I understand the compulsion you feel to finish the book after starting. Try using site that have hourly lock or daily lock so you can get habitual to restraining your self .It is imp to understand that you can not starve yourself of things that you love ,try to read a few novel for 30 min to an hour .I hope you do well in future by overcoming this hurdle.
Replyoof. I feel ya on the whole 'parents have high expectations for me' thing. I'm sorry this is happening to you! My study bane was video games. I just put my games on a separate device from my school, and then I gave the other device to my friend, who would only give it to me after she'd verified that all my school was done. Don't know if you can do this, but it was so helpful.
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