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To the person who I can't get out of my head:
You started liking me first. It was two years ago... We were in all of the same classes and we started to talk to each other a bit at school. Like in one of our history classes we sat at some seats and you were directly in front and facing me at our desk. As we did the lesson, I looked up from my laptop and saw you... We talked and laughed. You were the one who was so friendly and sometimes teased me, but in a nice way of course. You made me smile so often.
This sounds crazy but you were the one who made me excited to go to school each day. I was happy when I got to see you and talk to you. You were one of the few or basically the only one who seemed to really like me as a person and didn't judge me.
Then we also talked when walking to and from each class. we would talk about many things and I really enjoyed that. Sometimes each conversation was very brief but it made such a difference.
We continued to talk even more in our engineering class together too. We had sort of assigned seats but you were put right next to me. I low-key really liked that you sat next to me and that meant I could talk to you even more. During one of our lessons in this class, one of the other boys asked you if you liked anyone. You denied it at first. then the boy asked you again and again until you admitted that you like one of the girls in that very room. That made me wonder... Could it be me? At this point in time, I already had a suspicion that you could possibly like me. It turned out that I was right.
At the start of the next year, you told me that you liked me. I was so happy.
Then the pandemic happened and we had to do online learning. But, we actually got to email each other all the time. Like we emailed in the morning and during our classes and even in the afternoon. We did this basically every day. there were times where you even wanted to see my face and invited me to go on a zoom with you. I feel sort of bad that I said no most of the time because I'm shy but I liked that you wanted to talk to me.
After a while, it was time to go back to school finally. It was very weird at first and I didn't realize until then how much I liked school after learning from home for so long.
Anyway, some time passed and you started talking to me less and less. It was sort of a gradual decline. I was so confused. I started to think that you didn't like me anymore. I got jealous when you talked to other girls. I know that I can't stop you from talking to other people even just casually, but I missed when you talked to me a lot.
I was then wondering why you probably didn't like me anymore. Did you just get bored of me? Did you not think I was pretty anymore? Did you think I changed? What happened?
I miss those days where we both felt so happy and there was an obvious connection between us both. I loved the way you were so nice to me even though barely anyone was that nice. You gave me so many compliments too.
Why can't I just go back in time? I want it to be the same as before...
Later I found out that you don't like me anymore. I still have no idea why or if anything really caused it. I know that sometimes people simply lose feelings and move on, but I still haven't. It's been so long since you have stopped liking me. I don't know exactly when you stopped liking me but it was most likely a bit more than a year ago now...
Why can't I stop thinking about you? You were so so precious to me. Maybe I didn't tell you how important you were and how much I valued you in my life. It is crazy how I still think about all of our good memories together. You probably have forgotten the good times we had. You probably don't know exactly the way you made me feel.
Actually, you have no idea how much you still make me feel. Honestly, you're driving me crazy. Am I in love with you or something? I have no idea. This has been the longest time I have ever liked someone before.
I am so lost and confused. It is like I am living in the past because I keep on thinking about my special memories with you and all the nice things you said.
I don't think I will ever forget you.
For this reason, you will always be in my heart... As the person who gave me hope for myself... and the person who made/makes me smile... the one who liked me for the way I truly am...
I thank you so much for everything...
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