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It's about time that I really need to start living on my own terms of life and not living up to people's dreams and expectations. For so long, my parents have been strict and I appreciate their words of wisdom but it feels like I haven't been able to speak on my own. We are religious and there are some restrictions that come with that but I shouldn't be restricted completely in life. Being 19, I have never been able to go out with friends (unless my parents know them very well), They think it's wrong to talk/ be friends with guys, they think I should act more like a 'lady' and I shouldn't be open about myself to other people/world. Compared to most people my age, I really haven't done anything bad and my voice/opinion just never seems to be acknowledged or accepted. My brother on the other hand managed to get treated differently and he is allowed to have a gf, he parties, and drinks with heaps of friends whenever he wants, he is never told to act like a 'man' and he is very much open with the people around him because he is never talked down upon. Leaving me to be the 'perfect child'.
My parents have built me to be afraid of all such things, I have grown social anxiety for a while and my confidence/self-esteem has gone down for who knows how long. It's hard to know what I actually want in life and what my values are, because I guess I've learned to just follow and listen to other people's opinions. I know there are people out in the world who probably have worse than me, but it's hard just knowing that I can't be the person I want to be.
And my first dream would to become honest with myself and the people around me. If you have any advice or opinions on how I get on this path of honesty let me know. I would love to hear if you have a similar experience.
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im sorry that ur parents are soo strict, i went thru an experience not quite similar but i didnt go out that often, never talked and hang on with a guy but as soon as i got to go to college i was free. but being free didnt mean me losin responsibility, even i could do those things during college but i somehow wasnt interested anymore.
i think that u should step out and maybe confront ur parents in a good way, they for sure will have a different approach cuz of u talking abt it.Treating a sibling different cuz of their gender thats really not good and we know that the society in our conntry has this mind set but we have to move forward. u should be the best version of urself no matter any one says, ure gonna live this life.
ReplyThankyou for writing your perspective. Feels great to not feel so alone and I am hoping that me starting university next year will bring some more freedom into my life. Most people I guess tend to move out and I assume run away from their problems at home, but considering I'm staying home, I would love to just figure it out with my parents rather than put off such a situation.
ReplyI feel you, same as you growing up when i give my opinion on things they would just ignore me and when i want to make a decision for myself they will always doubt my decision and scared me to follow their decision they also caused me to not feel confident of myself that made me that y i seek validation from people. Tbh im still not fully out of my parents claw but i would suggest u to choose a university/college that is far from your family this way you can find you're true self without being restricted by your family. I made that decision and IT WAS THE BEST DECISION i have ever made i became more happy and slowly gain confidence in myself but i still need to work with speaking up for myself
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