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My whole life I've bin limited to what I can do. I grew up with low self esteem and I've always found ways to hide it and not make it obvious. I'm 27 years old and everyone expected me to go to college and have a successful career but I always knew that wouldnt be me. I was never happy in school. I always felt like the outcast even though I hung out with the cool kids I guess. My status in the United States has always made me feel below everyone else that can travel to see family or simply go on a vacation with friends. I never had the privilege of doing such fun things. Instead of it motivating me to one day become a citizen it actually broke me. Living in fear at age 11 knowing I can easily get deported made me weak. I some times feel like I have a mental illness but due to my status I can't really do much about it. My whole life was spent under my blankets crying because I would see everyone traveling and seeing these beautiful places and I was stuck in the same city my whole life wishing that could be me. And yes I know other people have it worse and I should be thankful for what I have but....I know I have a mental illness and I probably wont ever get help for it and that's okay. I'm alive and thank God I have food in my table. I probably wont ever be happy like I wish I was but I'll continue spreading happiness even if it means faking it. Thank you for reading.
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Don't worry. Everything gonna be okay! Also, try to just show up yourself a little. Who care's about other peoples opinion? They will not benefit you anyways.
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