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I just don't know what I'm feeling rn. I feel like I feel into the deep abyss of nothingness. I want someone to come and save me. I want someone to tell me it's all going to be alright even if it ain't. I feel like crying but tears are not coming out of my eyes. My feelings are never clear to me. I feel like someone who'll never be able to give the love others need. I often have mood swings. I don't know why I'm like this. I fought with the only friend I have today and I feel so fucked up rn. I just don't know how to considerate. I'm just so... I don't know what to say. The emotions I've locked up inside can never be let out. I'm afraid that I contain so much emotions that one day I'll burst out and no one will be able to resist it. I don't know what they hell is wrong with me. I just feel like breaking everything. I feel like I want to cry out loud. I want to cry out loud. I want to shout. I want to end this. I suck at making decisions. I procrastinate. I don't fucking study. I feel like I'm the only fucked up being who doesn't know what the hell is wrong with me. I hate myself. I feel like the fault is mine and also not mine. I don't know what to say anymore. I just want to die.
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Hey calm down! There's so much going on inside you. I understand that this build of emotions and confusion makes you feel tangled. I won't say you to sort it out or even do something about it. I would only say that tackle one problem at a time. You'll feel relieved once you start working at least on one aspect of your life which you think doesn't makes sense. For example, procrastination. It's a very common thing for everyone, no matter how much they brag that they're punctual, they still have missed their deadlines. So you're not alone or the only one who did this. That's why relax and focus. Even if it's for 10 min, get the work done. The simple rule is, the other time is always later than the present time. Once you start doing something you're being earliest at that task than you ever would be. Just imagine it and start. Because there's no other way rather than starting the work to get it done. Once you accomplish even a simple task on time, you'll be happy trust me. And that would push you to do two or more things on time. Start little by little. Tackling one problem at a time will give you space for yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve a happy life. Let it go, this was just a bad day. Next day is waiting for you! Everything will be alright again.
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