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Hi.. I've been trying to journal lately cause I'm un aware what else to do to get these thoughts out of my head. I have tears running down as I'm writing this. I always kind of wanted to be a writer. They say the "happier" ones are the ones who are depressed. In my case I guess that's true. I always wanna help others. Inspire, help the world. But lately, I can't even help myself. Its hard. I take care of my family, i have chronic anxiety and depression, probably another illness that i need to get re diagnosed .. sometimes I think I'm dying and it leads me to do impulsive things.. but I'm kinda over that phase right now. Right now is something else.. my bf and I argue alot sometimes , and well there was a night he got lit without me and kissed another girl and idk 'cheated' I guess the term is. It's been over a month and I still can't progress this. Everytime I tell him about it, it kinda get brushed off cause he says he's over it. Well I'm not and I'm so fed up and confused. Idk what to do. He's my life and world, but I feel like it's falling apart. He wants to stay with me and so do I but man, how do I get him to realize he needs to try harder.
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One kiss to another girl doesn't mean anything. I had a bf once who tried to get onto another girl in front of me. I pulled him away and told him not to be so stupid. Then it wasn't mentioned again. You can choose as to whether to keep this kiss as something between the both of you or to let it go. You will do better to let it go if you want to stay in this relationship.
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