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Ever feel as if so many things in your life has been going too well, that you're expecting something for it to end. For me, I'm too use to being disappointed or being hurt that whatever good that comes into my life I already know that there is a hidden darkness, a bad problem following right behind waiting to pop up that moment I grasp my happiness. I think its from all my past childhood trauma thats made me like this. My favourite funny, cool Uncle growing up, oh turns out to be a m*lester and touches me at 8years old. And when I reach out my Aunty I loved the most and thought I could trust, she brushed it off and never done anything about it. So, I cut them off. By then, my Dad already passed and my mum put a lot of the responsiblities for the kids on me. 9 years of age, ready to take on her 3 u of her siblings. From then on, my childhood was gone and I was forced to become an adult. Even as I grew up, I couldn't feel happy. I loved being sad and feeling down because it was all I known and it was all that was ever around me. I never tried to put that around my siblings though, even with nothing I always tried my best to make them laugh or keep them occupied so they wouldn't noticed much of what was really going on.
I'm 25 now and still I struggle with such doubt. That the man I love, will someday leave me or cheat on me because its too good to be true that we've spent years together and he still hasn't hurt me yet. That my mum will always be disappointed in me. That my job I'm working at which I love has a boss that is so supportive of me and my colleagues are genuine and kind.
Why do I feel that secretly the world is out to get me?
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Probably because of the experiences you’ve listed, they’re valid fears. But also fearing something can create that experience, eg, if you fear someone will leave you, they might feel you pushing them away and it might happen. Maybe discuss your fears with a therapist, and maybe you will be able to open up to your partner and they may be able to give you the reassurance you need.
Replylook, things happen and if you happen to feel as though your S/O with do such thing. i think you should communicate your feelings. seems like you have been overthinking things because of your childhood trauma. you have to heal from that. slowly get out of your comfort zone because sometimes getting out is the best decision you can make. maybe the good things are just to show you that life is not so bad.
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