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For the past few weeks I've been trying so hard to keep you. To make you see.. to ...
I don't know anymore. I don't know because I got my hopes up and tonight I realized you're not who I want you to be. well that's not.. what I mean to say.. you don't want me. You truly don't want me enough to stop and say she's the one I don't want to talk to anyone else. That's fair because I know I'm not- but goddamnit I wish I were because I love you. This past week, I've tried to get over you. Heck I went out with two guys. And the whole time, both times, it's horrible I know but all I could think about is how uncomfortable I was and how I didn't want to be there with each one of them. How I'd rather be with you. Talking to you. The thought of you with another girl makes me sick to my stomach. Tonight, tonight, I just couldn't- you seemed so casual talking about the girls at your work and- I - I told u I was crying bc I was stressed ab going into college, but no I was crying because of you. One week you tell me you love me and the next you won't even tell me you miss me. I'm giving up on you. This is my goodbye in hopes that maybe ill- I don't know- all I know is that I can't keep up this charade anymore. I don't want to. I don't want to keep looking at my phone in hopes that u texted me every 10 minutes. I don't want to go through all the memories of you in my head anymore. I don't want - if I could delete my memory of you I would. Because at this point it hurts so much that I'm sobbing every night on the floor. I love you. but you lost me tonight.
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