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Sometimes I feel like I’m disappointing my younger self,
That little girl that did her best all of the time,
Worked so hard,
Got perfect grades,
Would she understand when she sees me now?
Would she understand the grades that are not so perfect anymore,
The lying in bed,
The breaks.
I hope she understands that I’m not doing this to hurt her,
It’s better this way.
----
I wrote this poem for my younger self. I used to get perfect grades, because all I did was study. I was very harsh on myself when it came to school. I based my whole worth and identity on my grades. A few years ago I became burned out from the many years of self critique and studying, so I started to rest more for my mental health. I started studying less, so that I could have more free time to do things that I actually enjoy. Sometimes I feel guilty about this, I just hope she understands.
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She will. She will for sure. Don't worry. :)
ReplyShe is you. You carry a part of her in you still, but you have matured to understand what’s more important and are still maturing.
Reply