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2 months ago · Thoughts, · Explicit
Thanks alot. After that fiasco of b.s. last night I COULDN'T GET TO SLEEP AT ALL. Not til 8 this morning. My heart rate was racing for awhile to the point I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. I told mom but she acted like she didn't care. She's mad about the whole situation still acting like I'm to blame even though dad's the one who caused it all. I told her if the world hates me that fucking much why don't somebody go ahead and put a a bullet in my head. I'm still invalidated in hoe I feel by her. Dad was up almost all night too. Cranking up blasting a boom box. That's what woke me up n I've only had 3 hrs sleep the last 3 days .
People want to invalidate how I feel and give a shitty tone for what I say. Is it even worth it to be alive.?
I installed another text app oddly my balance number or CRISIS line wouldn't work but it does with the new app it's a Google crap app so go figure Ive saw somebody else has the same issue in the past online but had to do a factory reset. Heck no I'm not losing everything I got and possibly my service too screw that. I tried everything else it wouldn't work but a new app did oddly enough.
I don't need to seeshit like road trip I'm in such n such state from a former friend last night this morning when I can't even get away from this hellhole. It pisses me off her and everyone I was there for a shoulder to cry says 🖕not my problem don't in want in the middle of it. I even told mom that and she defended them. WHAT THE HELL?????? WHEN AM I GONNA QUIT BEING UNIVERSES MOST HATED HUMAN BEING? WHEN IM DEAD?. EXCUSE ME FOR EVEN EXISTING THEN. IM DONE WITH EVERY THING I CAN'T STAND TO GO THROUGH AND BE TREATED LIKE THIS CONSTANTLY.
I hate the human race more and more lately. Mainly the those who I know who just wanna act like I'm worthless but come crying begging to me with their problems. It doesn't work that way.
I want this drunk of a dad and my mom to learn their lesson . Him for mistreating me and her for blaming and invalidating me defending his drunk sorry ass. What kind of twisted fucking reality am I in the twilight zone? Good Lord have mercy on me.
Every body wants to say to hell with me. I didn't treat others like that nor my parents. My feelings are valid despite those trying to say they're not. I'm so sick of 1 sided people careless heartless people. I swear I don't think mom n dad or anybody would actually care if I did comitt suicide. They care more of the dogs feelings than my own. I've never been through such heartlessness in all my life. I'd leave their sorry asses here if I could and split. Enjoy your drugs and drunks dad while it lasts it's short lived because someday soon you won't have me to call on to bail your sorry horrible ass out of anything. Mom n dad you all are just horrible human beings. And you too j for abandoning me. As I told you mom I can only take so much abuse and I don't have to tolerate shitty treatment from anybody . You don't be shitty to your child then expect them to be your safety net or errand boy or etc.
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